I Am NOT Infected

I AM NOT INFECTED
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Imagine this…

You are cruising along the Bombay – Pune Highway, and you see this placard around the neck of a cock, ok ok, around the neck of a chicken. Infact not just one, but hundreds of em, loaded in cages and supporting such placards.

In this crazed world of Media hypes, rumor has it that this bird flew was actually a dirty trick of George Bush to make India sign the N-Pact. The RAW has concrete evidence that the so called migratory birds are infact ISI Agents and were intensively trained in China. They were given the exact locations where to drop the infected bombs (Droppings) and some of them were also trained in the elements of charming the females (Of the bird species of course) so as to pass on this deadly virus. The Mumbai police even claims to have caught 3 CIA Agents and 1 ISI agent with 400 kgs of droppings having high concentrations of the virus.

The virus is rumored to have been perfected in Texas, and the DNA testing is underway to see if Mr. Clinton was involved in some way. Some intelligence agencies attribute the spreading of the bird flu to Al Qaida. They believe that Osama is trying to boost the Consumption of beef by spreading the flu. Sucide Bombers would now look something like the one shown ABOVE. BJP Spokesmen were bold enough to go to the extent of saying that, "As the fodder is not available in abundance, Thanks to Mr. Lalu, The Congress is now eyeing the Bird Feed but needs to decrease the number of birds so it has enough 'LEFT' for itself."

Durex has come up with a new technology that allows the birds to make out without the fear of passing on the virus thru body fluids. Insiders in SEBI on condition on anonymity have confirmed the fact that the culling of birds is infact related to some individuals manipulating the Commodities Market and the Sensex. RBI has ordered a probe into the same. A Lobby of nuclear scientists is mum on the question whether the extracts from the bird would be used in biological warfare.

Meanwhile the SPCA led by Maneka Gandhi is protesting against the brutal manner in which the birds are being killed. They are now asking for the last rites to be performed according to the religion of the owner. The only ones having a field day, or we can say a field month are the stray dogs. Oblivious to the hue and cry created by the virus they are enjoying 5 meals a day and some are even storing for the winter. The only hurdle which remains for the storage is that it takes a long time for the tenders to be approved.