An Unchargable BlackBerry?

A Broken BlackBerry:-

What could be worse? Now I have seldom if ever posted such entries but then again, this DOES warrant a mention here. I have had this BlackBerry Curve for over 6 months but I have still stuck around with my Sony Ericsson W810i for the better part of these 6 months. A couple of days ago, I decided that I ought to start using the BB for it was meant to be, especially with all the people around the office showing off Pearls :D. So I take out my BB from the back of the drawer which has been it's heavenly abode for the last 4 months since I came to Uruguay and try to charge it, but guess what? The BB will not charge.

Now I have had this problem earlier as well where in the BB would not charge from the wall charger but would do if connected to the USB in my LapTop. After some research I found that the pins used to charge using the Wall Charger as compared to those used by the USB Charger are different, thus when the battery is fully drained, you first need to recharge for a minute or so using the USB and then you can go ahead and use the Wall Charger.

But to charge using the USB, you need to have the BB Desktop Software installed. So I spent a couple of hours downloading 300 MB of BB Desktop Software version 4.6 and this one was a pain in the arse considering the Net speeds over here. When I was done with it, I went ahead and installed and the moment of truth was there. I plug in my USB and I plug in the BB and Voila, The BB Does not charge at all. Darn IT. What to do next?

Dejected but Determined, I went ahead and searched hundreds of BB Forums looking for any description related to the problem I was having but there was every other solution from "Make Sure The Switch is Turned On" to the "Have you paid your Electricity Bill?" Some even suggested to have BB Replaced. Stupid People. My quest to finding the reason to this problem led me to a post by Peter.

Further reading surprised me as I found that the reason for all my woes is that the battery has been discharged to more than what it should have been. Now this was a revelation. A Batter would not charge because it has been discharged. Is that not what a battery is for? To be able to recharge it after it has been used up. Apparently it is a design flaw in BB which does not monitor the battery level well.

But Anyways, I followed the instructions there, which included removing the battery, and using cables connected to the USB Port to Manually give a small charge to the battery by connecting naked wires to the battery terminals and quickly placing it back in the phone. And I was really happy this time. The trick worked. And Now I ave this pretty BB of Mine sitting on that Desk and recharging itself.

Thanks a Lot Peter. and well any of you guys who needs to know more about how to troubleshoot a $700 BB, Look me Up.

-Cruel

Su Amor Para Mí No Es Una Fantasía

Your Love for me is not a Fantasy.

Spanish ... A Beautiful Language. One I have been learning for the past 2 months since I came to Uruguay. But that is not what I want to write about today. I want to understand the passions that run amok in this world.

I have seen a lot in these past few months. Traveled 4 countries, seen people and the way they feel for each other, and most importantly my dream. I wonder when I grew up or was I always like this. I turn 25 in another 8 days. My 8th Birthday Spent away from home, away from the ones I love.

I had a dream, a Trance I could not get out of, I did not wish to get out of. Those eyes which captivated me, that glance that ebbed me on and still held me at bay. Which beckoned me to let myself go, to set free the love I have held inside and yet cautioned me that I Might burn, burn with such light that I might go blind. That Smile which enchanted me, which made me want to smile with her. That flick of her hair, entwining around her fingers, made me so unsure. Did I want to be the finger or the hair, I do not know But what I do know is, I did not want the dream to end.

But end it did, and I woke up scared that I might not see my dream again. What if I did not, could not conjure her up once more? I opened my eyes only to realize it was not a dream. There she was, right in front of me. The same face, the same eyes, beckoning yet holding me at bay. One part of me so willing and another so unsure. What If I woke up again?

I sometimes wonder when does one mature? Is it the age or is it the experiences one gains in life. My beliefs stand with the experiences but some believe in Ages. How important is it for us to grow up and do we need to grow up? But hey, I do not want to think much right now. All I want to do is, Dream. And Dream on. I wish it is not just a dream

:P Soy Tu Amor.

The Winds of Change - Yet Again.

I Had once vowed never to come back to the world of reality, and to wither away, a petal at a time till all that was left was a stem with thorns. Pretty Imaginative ain’t I? But Alas, wishes are not fulfilled so easily, and just like I had been pulled away from life, I got pulled back once again into the whirlwind called life and the realization hit me full in the face … I don’t Have a Choice, My Destiny is not Just Mine, Someone else is tied to me thru an invisible thread.

With the temperature dropping, The harsh gale howling and lifting columns of dust and dirt in the air, The night seemed like a partner in crime, one which wanted to cloak all the doings of nature under the cover of darkness. Just like I desired to cloak the fire within and not let it out. I wished for the day not to dawn, I wished for the birds not to chirp, I wished for the hustle bustle of human life to stay asleep a little longer, I longed for the night to stay on…

And Stay on it did, for I wanted it to, I willed it to. With a plethora of emotions running thru me, I watched the red night sky lit up with flashes of lightning, break into a slow Jazz. A drop of rain splashed my forehead as I looked up, waiting ... Waiting for the outburst, both in the sky and within me. It started slowly as if it did not wish to but I knew, it did.

The Red in the Sky,
The Red in my Eye.
A Storm up there,
A Storm in here.
The Water in the Sky,
The Water in my Eye.
Broken Wings, Broken Heart;
A Dream within, tears me Apart.
A Will to Conquer, A Will to Be;
A Will I know, Might not Be.
The Night is Young,
But I am Not.
The Day Will Come,
But She may Not.

I Wish the Passion in the elements, becomes a passion in me ... But a passion so far away, might not be. I wonder when the life would reach out to me, once again. I wonder when they will blow, The Winds of Change - Yet Again.

InSomNiAc & DeLiRiOuS

A Comment Remains UnPublished, Till the one who left it feels strong enuf to acknowledge she can face it! :P But then again, a Few words that came upon me so strong that they seem to have a mind of their own, A Passion to be expressed so strong that I had no control over what was being typed out. I dun regret it but I hope she does not! Read on ...

When The Day Melds With The Night
When The Stars And Moon Alight
When Ghosts Whispr In The Trees
When The Fire Burns With A Glee
When The Soul Stirs An Emotion
When The God Becomes Thee
When World Seems To Shrink
When My Words Bring You To The Brink
When You Stay Up And Think Of Me
.................... Remember ....................
I Stand Atop The Cliff
And Wonder If The Winds
Will Ever Bring a Fragrance
A Fragrance That Reminds Me Of Thee
For All That Is Pure
Can Not Just Be Thee
As All That is ImPure
Is Not Just Me

A Walk Back to Reality!

7 Months, and thats what it took for me to recover from a setback! Well, to be Candid, not fully recovered though. Another year added to my life and I hardly noticed. The move back to India was not something to look forward to but then again, Maybe I was required. Home Sweet home lasted 3 weeks, The longest time I spent at home since 1999. And now it is back to the life in Bangalore, A City which is almost coming apart at it's seams with the influx of migrant technical labor!

Found some old old friends from School times and made some new ones. Learnt tons of new stuff about life! After all The World is not round. Been reading a Lot more and having loads of Fights with my manager at work. Cannot take bullshit lying down anymore, so why not at least stand up for it! :P Read something really inspiring, Which made me come Back to the world of Blogging! Thanks a Ton Miss New Jersey. :)

Well Enough Ravings and Rantings, I sign off with a Promise to return with much more, been having some fun times so it is apt that I write about them!

Cherio

Cruel

Why Am I Still Alive

I knew I had died, I Wish I Had. Cannot live like this, it hurts too much. But hey, death is too choosey, just like Life. So I woke up after 3 days of being in and out of an haze and realized I still breathe, still breathe for her. I have no one to turn to ... All I am left with is my words which I do not use judiciously anymore. And the Music -- I am gonna get my music back. I wonder how many of you really love music, and I mean love like crazy, who love to sing, to compose, to play. I do. And when she said Good Bye - It felt like my music of all these years turned her back to me sayin "You do not belong to me". But I decided, to get my music back, and I found Fabienne. When I touch her, I feel love. My fingers seem to move on her in a trance as they find the right chord everytime. Fabienne promised she would help me find my love again and that she would play while I sing. Here is the first song we both learnt to play together.

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Instead of slamming down the phone girl, for the hundredth time
I got your number on my wall, but I aint gonna make that call
When divided we stand baby, united we fall
Got the time got a chance gonna make it
Got my hands on your heart gonna take it
All I know I cant fight this flame
You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Cause Im crazy bout you baby, time after time

Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
Do you have a heart of stone
Without you
Cant stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

I dont wanna fight no more, I dont know what were fighting for
When we treat each other baby, like an act of war
I could tell a million lies and it would come as no surprise
When the truth is like a stranger, hits you right between the eyes
Theres a time and a place and a reason
And I know I got a love to believe in
All I know got to win this time

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Cause Im crazy bout you baby...crazy...crazy
Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
Do you have a heart of stone
Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
If you have a heart at all
Without you
Cant stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

Love You!

The End

I have always wondered how the end would be. How it would feel when you die. And now I know it. I know how it feels when you die, every second that you live - You Die. It feels like you are suffocating, the air does not wish to come to your lungs as every ounce of life is squeezed out of you. Like every part of you dies it's own death. It seems so absurd how I am ranting away over here but I had to Document my own death somewhere, hadn't I? So here I am with a final goodbye to the world as I have known till the last breath with the beautiful taste of the poisoned wine still on my lips. I wonder if I would be buried or would I be burnt to ashes, or even If would see the motherland once again! but I know that the poison of the love would still be running thru my veins when I take my last breath which approaches near. My Farewell with the last words on my lips - Love You!

This romeo is bleeding, but you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well,I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

Yeah I, will love you, baby
Always and i'll be there
Forever and a day, always

I'll be there, till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme
I know when i die you'll be on my mind
and I'll love you, always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh
Some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye

What I'd give to run my fingers thru your hair
Touch your lips, to hold you near,
When you say your prayers, try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words
You've been needing to hear, I'll wish I was him
'Cause these words are mine, to say to you
'Til the end of time

If you told me to cry for you, I could
If you told me to die for you, I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck in these loaded dice
But baby, if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams, and our old lives,
We'll find a place, where the sun still shines

Before Sunset

It has been almost a month that I Wrote. A Lot has happened since then, A Life has been lived, A Life has been Lost, A Life has passed before my eyes, A feeling of dying has been learnt, A Love has been lost and A Love Found. All this Before Sunset.

I Wish I could write more, I wish I had the choice of opening up my Laptop and just sitting down with a Word Document and write my heart out, but I have learnt that I do not write, It happens, I am just a medium of expression and a trigger is needed every time something comes out and makes me feel Liberated. This time it was a simple movie, a beautiful yet sad one, something so refreshing and something so innate that I felt it was me. The simple talks, the walk, the song, the life. Something worth dying for, something worth living for.

Suddenly everything is so clear, I feel so strange that such an effect can be had with something so simple in life, that you are standing at your balcony and looking at a tropical storm and a bolt of lightning flashes before you and in that millisecond as you see the sword of fire and light strike a helpless tree, the whole world becomes clear to you. You understand things like the crystal waters of a stream born high in the mountains long before it is polluted by the existence of cities.

As the wind ruffled thru my hair and the thunder deafened the ears, I sipped on the Whiskey and looked at the lighted up night sky with flashes of lightning and a small glow of the dawn in the distance. Words of "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran keep me Sad, Keep me Happy. A Tear runs down my cheek after having cleared my vision. All I got running in my head right now are the words which have brought me back to life.... Like a phoenix rising from the Ashes.

Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue
Thought I heard you talking softly.
I turned on the lights, the tv and the radio
Still I cant escape the ghost of you
What has happened to it all?
Crazy, somed say,
Where is the life that I recognize?
Gone away...

But I wont cry for yesterday, theres an ordinary world,
Somehow I have to find.
And as I try to make my way, to the ordinary world...
I will learn to survive.

Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say
Pride will tear us both apart
Well now prides gone out the window cross the rooftops, run away,
Left me in the vacuum of my heart.
What is happening to me?
Crazy, somed say,
Where is my friend when I need you most?
Gone away...

The 13th Room...

The 13th Room…

13 is an UnLucky Number – For most of you – But for Jack and Daniel, here is when they got lucky.

Jack and Daniel were supposed to leave the country for furthering their prospects in life, so their friends decided to give them a big send off! And thus arrived Johnny and Walker. Johnny was Daniel’s Brother and Walker his cousin. Walker walked in with his girl Absinthe.

They decided to meet at The 13th Room one late evening. Though the room was as big as the floor, it was jam packed with almost no available space. But everyone knew that Jack and Daniel could not be denied, so off they went and were welcomed like princes, escorted to their favorite place right next to the drunk Germans. Stars illuminated the room and sky was the roof! J & D decided to get drunk as this would be their last night out in a long long time to come. Johnny joined them while Walker politely declined the offer under the glaring eyes of Absinthe.

They had just started when Walker got a call from a friend of his who wanted to be a part of the company and 5 minutes later in walked Bloody Mary with her intoxicating companion Sherry. Jack, with his long hair, short height, cute face and mysterious eyes, gave a casual glance at Mary and their eyes met. The world seemed to stop for the two, the glass of alcohol glued to Jacks lips as his hot breath formed vapors on the surface, rings of smoke rose from the smoldering cigarette in Mary’s hand as it burnt it’s way towards not just the end but also her heart.

While Jack and Mary had their moment and Walker and Absinthe had theirs, Johnny got drunk. Daniel was mesmerized by the beauty that sat across the table. The perfect lips and that look in the eye, the shadow of the falling hair and that smile that meant more than what met the eye. Our Jack, torn between the decision of leaving the country and following his heart, got drunk and left with a promise to meet again. Daniel, already in love, went home with the rest.

While Walker and Absinthe cuddled up in a corner, Johnny and Mary passed out in the other room. Daniel, as always, could not sleep after one too many a shots and sat thinking about Sherry. And though she slept as soundly as the others, he knew that she knew that he was watching her. He sat there the whole night thinking about her. Morning came, they all left, she gave him a hug promising she would meet him again that evening. But he knew and so did she ... The Evening Never Came

He Left the country after a few days and now Jack is leaving as well. Wonder if they would get together again, at The 13th Room, and get Lucky?

P.S. This one is after a high demand from a couple of close friends. Please beer with me if none of this makes any sense at all.

2 Years!

Well well... Here comes a little known Fact. A Fact that even I had forgotten about and had it not been for chance glance at my spam mails, I would have not come to know about it. And the Fact - It has been 2 years since I completed Graduation. April the 20th when I wrote my Last exam and set out to leave the world as I had known it to become a part of one as I know it now. Feels strange but hey, this is life.

Here is my List of Accomplishments and Failures, more for letting me know about them than to let you guys chuckle about it :-

• The First Post refers to this very day in 2005. So this is the day Principia Obnoxiousia was born.
• Lost most of my friends - so called friends, Left with a couple of gems.
• Saw the world in a way I had never seen before, in a way I would never see it again.
• Got a job and did pretty well with it, after messing it up initially of course.
• Met some great people and some not so great, Tricked em all :)
• Fell in love, Thought she was mine, Realized I belong to her.
• Had some of the best moments of my life with my closest friends in Bangalore.
• Got stabbed in the back by someone I trusted with my life, a friend for 2 years.
• Understood the true meaning of being Lonely and Walking Alone.
• I found I could count the number of people I could give my life for on my fingers. Happy about the fact that I can take a life as well for them.
• Lost the one person who had guided me all my life, who made me what I am today. Been almost an year and I still think of him everyday. Guess I love him the most. He can never die, I will live for him.
• Made some money, making some more.
• Left India.
• Finally got one of the very people who have ever known me the way I am, who can know something before I think about it, to join this Blog. Mr. Wordster - Rahul.

Some more rantings to come along this way, but feeling nice about this post. Something about my life after a very very long time.

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