The Training Camp -- Part III

This should have been put up earlier but then, maybe this is just the moment meant for this piece to be inked... Uh sorrie, typed. For the benefit of those reading this blog the first time, Check out the Entries The Training Camp -- Part I and Part II before reading this one. So moving on with the Barracks and the Commanderz In charge. Well The Discipline was taken care of by some retired Army Colonel who still couldn't come to the terms with the fact that the Army did not need him anymore. So we were all treated like "Recruits" being trained for some battle (Normandy is nothing as compared to this Training). Formal dressing for all and Ties to distinguish the Males from the Females. All kind of shoes to be worn with socks, both of the same color, nails to be cut, faces to be washed, and Red Colored Underpants for all (Ok Ok maybe I overdid on this one but you could never be sure when he would ask you to strip just to make sure if you got what it takes to be... A Recruit maybe ;-) ).

The Trainers (Yes, We can call them Trainers, and this refers to most of them but not all) were very strict about their code as well. They can be best described by the following beliefs some of them upheld:-
Thou Art Always Right.
Thou Shall Not Listen.
Thou Shall Impose Thyself.
Thou Shall try To Be And Do What You Cannot In The Outside World.
Thou Shall Abuse Thy Power
Thy Recruits Art At Thy Mercy/Merci
Thou Shall Punish Those Who:-
1.) Do Not Belong To The Trainers Group &

2.) Do Not Agree To The First Postulate



Now for the Curiosity of those who did manage to think about this aspect, I would like to present.. Tan Te Tan "Dr. Nitler" The Man Who Sold The World -- The Harvester Of Sorrow (Now don't you dare jump to conclusions, These are the songs that I like), The Man Who Ran This Training Camp. To say something about him would shame the word "Hypocrite" and not to say something other than that would make truth turn in its' grave. I guess I have said enough, or have I? ;-)

One of the most loved groups of guys was that of the canteen guys. They served you tea without milk or water, a day old bread and chapattis to make your teeth strong, fermented vegetables to save the farmers who might face crisis if someone doesn't buy them, culled birds to save losses to the striking poultry farmers of Maharashtra. So you see, these guys were loved by Dr. Nitler, The Farmers, The Poultry People, The Dentists, The Hakims (Uh there are still some of them existent in the remote location where this camp is located), Everyone, except The Recruits , for "Recruits may come and Recruits may go, But the Rest remain the same".

Now I have seen many movies, but this was the most heavily guarded Training Camp I Have ever seen. Area 51 seems to be a Playschool when compared to our Camp. Situated in a Jungle and Painted in rainbow colors, it is as inconspicuous as a Tarantula on your face. The Commandoes patrolling our campus have been specially trained in Guerilla Warfare, Infact some of them took their Military training so seriously that now they even look like guerillas. Camouflage is another quality our "Blue Cat" commandoes are apt at. You will never get to know if they are around but they are always there, ready to pounce on you the moment you try to enter the campus Without Authorization (Read as without a Tie, or a piece of string attached to a paper with someones' photo and some printed letters to serve as identification, or maybe the Red Underwear ;-) )

Now that you know almost everything that there is to know about the Camp, including the fact that our commandoes run faster than a "Pregnant Buffalo", I will come back with some interesting happenings at the Camp. Till then, Ciao.

I Am NOT Infected

I AM NOT INFECTED
Please Buy Me

Imagine this…

You are cruising along the Bombay – Pune Highway, and you see this placard around the neck of a cock, ok ok, around the neck of a chicken. Infact not just one, but hundreds of em, loaded in cages and supporting such placards.

In this crazed world of Media hypes, rumor has it that this bird flew was actually a dirty trick of George Bush to make India sign the N-Pact. The RAW has concrete evidence that the so called migratory birds are infact ISI Agents and were intensively trained in China. They were given the exact locations where to drop the infected bombs (Droppings) and some of them were also trained in the elements of charming the females (Of the bird species of course) so as to pass on this deadly virus. The Mumbai police even claims to have caught 3 CIA Agents and 1 ISI agent with 400 kgs of droppings having high concentrations of the virus.

The virus is rumored to have been perfected in Texas, and the DNA testing is underway to see if Mr. Clinton was involved in some way. Some intelligence agencies attribute the spreading of the bird flu to Al Qaida. They believe that Osama is trying to boost the Consumption of beef by spreading the flu. Sucide Bombers would now look something like the one shown ABOVE. BJP Spokesmen were bold enough to go to the extent of saying that, "As the fodder is not available in abundance, Thanks to Mr. Lalu, The Congress is now eyeing the Bird Feed but needs to decrease the number of birds so it has enough 'LEFT' for itself."

Durex has come up with a new technology that allows the birds to make out without the fear of passing on the virus thru body fluids. Insiders in SEBI on condition on anonymity have confirmed the fact that the culling of birds is infact related to some individuals manipulating the Commodities Market and the Sensex. RBI has ordered a probe into the same. A Lobby of nuclear scientists is mum on the question whether the extracts from the bird would be used in biological warfare.

Meanwhile the SPCA led by Maneka Gandhi is protesting against the brutal manner in which the birds are being killed. They are now asking for the last rites to be performed according to the religion of the owner. The only ones having a field day, or we can say a field month are the stray dogs. Oblivious to the hue and cry created by the virus they are enjoying 5 meals a day and some are even storing for the winter. The only hurdle which remains for the storage is that it takes a long time for the tenders to be approved.

The Training Camp -- Part II

The Training Camp -- Part II

I Left for Trivandrum on the 15th of August 2005 from Coimbatore and was there by 3 in the Afternoon. It took a lot of persuasion and a 100 rupee note for the auto driver to drop me to “Kenton Leisure” the 4 Star hotel which was going to be my home for the month or so. I was there, to be trained, to be told on how to handle the corporate life.

A big round wooden key chain with the number ‘318’ inscribed on it, and a small key, well this combination would open the doors of the corporate world to me, and up I went in the lift, with heavy bags. Finally settled by evening, I found home like environment, for people were everywhere, mixing, laughing and just having fun. And among these teeming hundreds I found him ( and a few others ), ‘Rhaxy’. There is already a full entry dedicated to him but he just keeps on coming back. ;-)

Many guys and an equal number of girls were excited about the fact that both guys and girls would be staying in adjoining rooms and you could roam freely during any hours, anywhere, but some like me were more interested in getting to know how to evade the rules and having MAX Fun. I’ll name a few people who I would always remember from the training days. Ravi S Singh – My roomie and an amazing guy with a very hot head. Ankur Agarwal - A barrel of Alcohol, mixture of Rum, Whiskey, Beer and what not. Gaurav Bahal – A Red colored LPG cylinder, ready to burst at any time, and the guinea pig for all our experiments. Joe Z – Way beyond his years and way beyond ourz too. Sureyanshu and Anuj – Brats from IIIT Allahabad who knew how to live life to the max, and Now comes my very own gang – Rhaxy – You all know by now, Bond – He looks like one and more dangerous than the original. JK – My project mate and an Arsehole. Pal, Tiwari and Anupam – Tough to say anything about em separately for all were the best I ever met.

There were a few chicks too, well if they read this... What the hell. Pooja N – A beautiful babe with an even more beautiful heart. Nita – Genuine to the core and nice to be with. Himani – Don know much about her. Meera & Sakshi – Wonder where they are, and never the lest – Miss Tanvi Sethi – Man she is a babe, still sticks around with me, and don get her wrong if you see her the first time, she is dangerous. She has the brains of …maybe 2 newtons.. , pretty, but most importantly, Amazing person to be with and well nothing more to say (Loss of words may be assumed to be the reason)

Well now that you all are familiar with the people in this Training Camp Barracks, I’ll write about the Trainers and mah life there. More coming up in the next Edition of the Training Camp with a Special piece on someone who I can never ever forget in mah life. She was, sorry, she is just amazing…. The Master Of The Puppets, A Dreamer By Nature and an Achiever by Actions – Miss Jayanthi… one of Mah Best Friends