And He Left Me...

And He Left Me...

I slept soundly and so did he… I was woken by a sharp, shrill ringing… Like needles piercing your ears… Only to be told, he would never wake up, ever again. And that shrill ring tone has been embedded in my memory like a dagger in my heart. I was numb, could not think, everything just went silent. And in that silence I could hear screams, heartrending screams but only I could hear them. They were my own. I did not even pick up the phone the next time Dad called me to ask if I was ok. Ok? If I was ok?? How could I Be??? No I was not ok. I am not ok. I cannot be.

But I could not do anything, nothing. The man who had nurtured me like his son, just like a Gardner lovingly looks after a sapling, was not there anymore, and all I could do was.. cry… I did not even have the chance to see him for the last time… It was so sudden that before I could bat an eyelid, my life as I knew it had changed, forever. I booked my tickets to fly back home as soon as I could, told my boss “I am out of office indefinitely, don ask me why for I cannot answer.” By the time I dressed to leave for home, another shrill ring of the cell shattered the wailing silence of my house. I was scared to pick it up this time. I did, it was Dad again. He told me to cancel my tickets, for even the mortal remains of the man I had loved more than me were there no more. Burnt in a wild consuming fire, all that was left was… ASH.

I still can’t come to terms with the truth of the situation, My Grand-Dad, who taught me how to live, is not alive anymore. The one who made me learn 5 of the 8 languages that I know won’t ever speak to me in any one of them. He who made me feel and not just understand poetry, won’t ever again read out a poem for me. I have lost not just a grand-father but my guide to life. I love you daddy, I love you a lot. And this small piece is a farewell to you… To let the world know, that it can never know, how much I loved you, How Much I Still Love You

Your Son…
Your Grand-Son