PRINCIPIA OBNOXIOUSIA

Whistling in the Wind!

2011-04-21T12:34:00.008-03:00

This is something I had written which I feel should definitely be up here:-

When I saw the video of Joanna Gualtieri addressing high school students about her experience as a whistleblower, their reactions and comments reminded me of my own beliefs when I was in high school. I, like most of us, had grown up believing that telling the truth is the right thing to do – whatever the cost. Bryce Courtenay’s book, The Power of One (1989), had shaped my understanding of human judgment. In his book he writes, “The power of one was the courage to remain separate, to think through the truth and not be beguiled by convention or the plausible arguments of those who expect to maintain power, whatever the cost.” A small part of me still believes this philosophy.

In today’s politically charged environment, the only agenda of those at the top is to maintain power, and money is power. Those who stand up to the abuse of this power, usually get crushed. No doubt we hear about the Enrons and WorldComs of this world which were brought to their knees by whistleblowers but then again, what about the hundreds if not thousands of efforts which go unreported?

Through this paper, I would like to discuss the cost that whistleblowers pay for telling the truth. I would like to analyze the incentives that we as a society should provide to these individuals who have the courage to stand up against the wrongs that we see in our lives every day but still choose to ignore, due to various reasons - personal or otherwise. Our case discussion is about Joanna Gualtieri, an Ottawa lawyer who took on the Department of Foreign Affairs and International Trade (DFAIT) in a decade-long battle which revolved around government misspending and later on about the harassment she faced when her superiors retaliated to her blowing the whistle on them.

During our discussions in class, a point was raised that given the bureaucratic nature of an organization like DFAIT, our whistle blower, Joanna Gualtieri, should have tried to bring about a slow and steady change, that she should not have given up so soon should have tried to work things out with her superiors slowly. It was suggested that she should have been more patient while dealing with such an organization. But does being big and bureaucratic gives such an organization the right to squander taxpayers dollars?

Another piece of information which I found hard to digest was that unlike the United States, Canada has no policy of whistleblower protection. Successive governments have raised this issue as a matter of pre-election promises but once they come to power, it seems like the memory of ever having made these promises is lost. The harassment of Joanna as the hands of her immediate boss and even the callous attitude of her own union is shameful. In the end she paid the price of standing up for all of us.

We hear about all kinds of harassments that whistleblowers face. It is claimed that around 75% of the allegations that come forth via whistleblowers are found to be either incorrect or baseless. But the 25% that do turn out to be true have consequences attached. Harassment at workplace, character assassination, loss of job, disruptions in family life, deterioration of health etc. are common treatments met out to the whistleblowers. But some of them end up paying the ultimate price for standing up for the truth – death.

Satyendra K. Dubey was a project director at National Highways Authority of India. He was a civil engineer from IIT Kanpur and at the tender age of 31, was shot dead in Gaya district in Bihar state of India. He had exposed corruption in construction projects being undertaken by the government and had written a letter to the Prime Ministers’ Office requesting anonymity. But the callous attitude of the government cost him his life after he was exposed to be the whistleblower. Numerous such cases go unreported and even the ones that are reported become old news within a matter of days and are forgotten.

If we as a society expect the truth to be told, then we should be ready to offer our support and protection to those facing such harassments and dangers at the hands of the perpetrators. Laws should be enacted to protect the whistleblowers. Many times we hear the arguments that people might report wrongdoings incorrectly or due to some personal vengeance, but I believe that even if we are able to protect 5% of the whistleblowers who are indeed truthful and right, it is worth the effort and trouble. I believe that many a times it is a difficult decision to figure out what is right and what is wrong, that sometimes it is tough to pass a judgment on ethical issues, but in some cases such as this, when you know something is wrong, it is unethical to delay or deny justice citing the archaic laws of the country as a basis.

In the end I would like to reiterate the fact that if we do not wake up and take a stance, then next time someone sees corruption or mismanagement at any level of governance, public or private, they will think twice about reporting it. It is high time that we enact laws to protect those who wish to bring the truth to light or we may forever be lost in the darkness of power, politics and corruption.

Pinnacle Uprising - Episode II - Finding the Seed

2010-06-25T08:08:00.001-03:00

It took me almost a year to come back to this story. With the desire to further my career prospects and the zeal to move to Canada taking up most of my time, the truth about the events of 2006 / 2007 lay rumbling, ready to explode like an ancient volcano. Now, once again the Truth shall set me free, I Hope!!

Merlin was an interesting character. He was both, an insider as well as an outsider. He had once been an integral part of the Western Frontier but had left the kingdom to seek greener pastures. But once the fall of the empire was inevitable, Lord Chandelier foresaw the future and knew that Merlin was the one who could hold it all together and once again put the kingdom on the path to success and help his subjects achieve the pinnacle.

Lured with money, booze but most importantly the respect that he commanded, Merlin reluctantly agreed to take on the task of building the core group he could rely upon. He spent six arduous months, waiting and watching. He knew he would find him one day for it had been prophesized eons ago, and find him he did, in the dark bowels of earth.

When Merlin first heard of the Creator, he – The Creator, was not called the creator at all. He was a simple boy who could create magic with his thoughts. He was not aware of his potential, just that he was meant to work for the Eastern colony of the Empire. Merlin ordered the Out-Lord of the Colony to let The Creator work for him. The Out-Lord, humbled by Merlin’s request, complied and the little unknown boy set to work, creating magical wands for Merlin. Soon the little boy was teaching others the intricacies of creating these wands and gained quite a fan following.

Impressed by the quality of wands, and realizing that the boy could lead his fellow wand makers, Merlin knew he had found his One. He christened the unknown boy ‘The Creator’ and once again ordered the Out-Lord – “The empire needs The Creator. Send him to us immediately.” The Out-Lord could only comply.

And thus began the journey we all know as the “Pinnacle Uprising”.

Pinnacle Uprising – Episode I – Planting the Seed

2009-08-14T17:00:00.001-03:00

For the past 3 years, this story has been struggling to take shape. Though the seeds were sown way back in 2006 / 2007, I have finally found the courage to write again and with the guidance of my Mentor, Merlin – The Magician / The Court Jester, I believe the truth shall see the light of dawn.

It all began when The Creator was tricked into leading his team, along with several others, under the watchful eye of Merlin to the very summit of success. He had no Idea about the hurdles he would face and the knowledge he would gain on this journey to the peak. That he would rise and fall, that he would be remembered forever and forgotten as well, that he would change forever as a person for this was no ordinary journey.

After a long and arduous ordeal of flying on a low cost Broom Stick, The creator landed at the village of the Western Frontier. He was greeted by the Unicorn and shown his way around the village where he met Blazer – The Entertainer, Palin – The Damsel in Distress and Yoda – Who was “Like No Other”.

Having seen the usual, The Creator settled down for a glass of free, cheap wine. One followed the other and he started to wander around the wilderness with a feather in his cap, a bowl of wine in one hand and the bottle in the other. It was not long before he bumped into the Village Elder – Lord Hilton. Lord Hilton was pretty amused meeting the Creator. He looked nothing like what Merlin had told he was capable of achieving, but none the less, Lord Hilton did not care much for he knew that as long as his commands were followed, the Uprising would be achieved.

Content, the Lord Moved on while The Creator, humbled by the Lords’ presence, continued to seek out the others he had so often heard of and never met. He Met Vidhata – The Creator of everything, The Siren – who could lure anyone with his fatal song and not the Least, Sunshine – The Queen of Dark Arts without whose permission no creation could take life and whole brilliant smile could dazzle you and render you blind.

This was the Situation which The Creator found himself in when he moved to the Western Frontier to carry out the task that was bestowed upon him as his destiny. Unaware of the brewing political storm he had landed himself into, The Creator was determined to make it thru.

NOTE: Please do provide your feedback and suggestions for the development of this story.

An Unchargable BlackBerry?

2008-10-12T14:45:00.003-02:00

A Broken BlackBerry:-

What could be worse? Now I have seldom if ever posted such entries but then again, this DOES warrant a mention here. I have had this BlackBerry Curve for over 6 months but I have still stuck around with my Sony Ericsson W810i for the better part of these 6 months. A couple of days ago, I decided that I ought to start using the BB for it was meant to be, especially with all the people around the office showing off Pearls :D. So I take out my BB from the back of the drawer which has been it's heavenly abode for the last 4 months since I came to Uruguay and try to charge it, but guess what? The BB will not charge.

Now I have had this problem earlier as well where in the BB would not charge from the wall charger but would do if connected to the USB in my LapTop. After some research I found that the pins used to charge using the Wall Charger as compared to those used by the USB Charger are different, thus when the battery is fully drained, you first need to recharge for a minute or so using the USB and then you can go ahead and use the Wall Charger.

But to charge using the USB, you need to have the BB Desktop Software installed. So I spent a couple of hours downloading 300 MB of BB Desktop Software version 4.6 and this one was a pain in the arse considering the Net speeds over here. When I was done with it, I went ahead and installed and the moment of truth was there. I plug in my USB and I plug in the BB and Voila, The BB Does not charge at all. Darn IT. What to do next?

Dejected but Determined, I went ahead and searched hundreds of BB Forums looking for any description related to the problem I was having but there was every other solution from "Make Sure The Switch is Turned On" to the "Have you paid your Electricity Bill?" Some even suggested to have BB Replaced. Stupid People. My quest to finding the reason to this problem led me to a post by Peter.

Further reading surprised me as I found that the reason for all my woes is that the battery has been discharged to more than what it should have been. Now this was a revelation. A Batter would not charge because it has been discharged. Is that not what a battery is for? To be able to recharge it after it has been used up. Apparently it is a design flaw in BB which does not monitor the battery level well.

But Anyways, I followed the instructions there, which included removing the battery, and using cables connected to the USB Port to Manually give a small charge to the battery by connecting naked wires to the battery terminals and quickly placing it back in the phone. And I was really happy this time. The trick worked. And Now I ave this pretty BB of Mine sitting on that Desk and recharging itself.

Thanks a Lot Peter. and well any of you guys who needs to know more about how to troubleshoot a $700 BB, Look me Up.

-Cruel

Su Amor Para Mí No Es Una Fantasía

2008-08-11T20:55:00.005-03:00

Your Love for me is not a Fantasy.

Spanish ... A Beautiful Language. One I have been learning for the past 2 months since I came to Uruguay. But that is not what I want to write about today. I want to understand the passions that run amok in this world.

I have seen a lot in these past few months. Traveled 4 countries, seen people and the way they feel for each other, and most importantly my dream. I wonder when I grew up or was I always like this. I turn 25 in another 8 days. My 8th Birthday Spent away from home, away from the ones I love.

I had a dream, a Trance I could not get out of, I did not wish to get out of. Those eyes which captivated me, that glance that ebbed me on and still held me at bay. Which beckoned me to let myself go, to set free the love I have held inside and yet cautioned me that I Might burn, burn with such light that I might go blind. That Smile which enchanted me, which made me want to smile with her. That flick of her hair, entwining around her fingers, made me so unsure. Did I want to be the finger or the hair, I do not know But what I do know is, I did not want the dream to end.

But end it did, and I woke up scared that I might not see my dream again. What if I did not, could not conjure her up once more? I opened my eyes only to realize it was not a dream. There she was, right in front of me. The same face, the same eyes, beckoning yet holding me at bay. One part of me so willing and another so unsure. What If I woke up again?

I sometimes wonder when does one mature? Is it the age or is it the experiences one gains in life. My beliefs stand with the experiences but some believe in Ages. How important is it for us to grow up and do we need to grow up? But hey, I do not want to think much right now. All I want to do is, Dream. And Dream on. I wish it is not just a dream ...

The Winds of Change - Yet Again.

2008-03-29T06:08:00.008-03:00

This is how Sam felt when he realized that he was not alone ...

I Had once vowed never to come back to the world of reality, and to wither away, a petal at a time till all that was left was a stem with thorns. Pretty Imaginative ain’t I? But Alas, wishes are not fulfilled so easily, and just like I had been pulled away from life, I got pulled back once again into the whirlwind called life and the realization hit me full in the face … I don’t Have a Choice, My Destiny is not Just Mine, Someone else is tied to me through an invisible thread.

With the temperature dropping, The harsh gale howling and lifting columns of dust and dirt in the air, The night seemed like a partner in crime, one which wanted to cloak all the doings of nature under the cover of darkness. Just like I desired to cloak the fire within and not let it out. I wished for the day not to dawn, I wished for the birds not to chirp, I wished for the hustle bustle of human life to stay asleep a little longer, I longed for the night to stay on…

And Stay on it did, for I wanted it to, I willed it to. With a plethora of emotions running thru me, I watched the red night sky lit up with flashes of lightning, break into a slow Jazz. A drop of rain splashed my forehead as I looked up, waiting ... Waiting for the outburst, both in the sky and within me. It started slowly as if it did not wish to but I knew, it did.

The Red in the Sky,
The Red in my Eye.
A Storm up there,
A Storm in here.
The Water in the Sky,
The Water in my Eye.
Broken Wings, Broken Heart;
A Dream within, tears me Apart.
A Will to Conquer, A Will to Be;
A Will I know, Might not Be.
The Night is Young,
But I am Not.
The Day Will Come,
But She may Not.

I Wish the Passion in the elements, becomes a passion in me ... But a passion so far away, might not be. I wonder when the life would reach out to me, once again. I wonder when they will blow, The Winds of Change - Yet Again.

InSomNiAc & DeLiRiOuS

2008-03-23T14:59:00.005-03:00

A Comment Remains UnPublished, Till the one who left it feels strong enough to acknowledge that she can face it! :P But then again, a few words that came upon me so strong that they seem to have a mind of their own, A Passion to be expressed so strong that I had no control over what was being typed out. I don't regret it but I hope the world does not! Read on ...

When The Day Melds With The Night

When The Stars And Moon Alight

When Ghosts Whispr In The Trees

When The Fire Burns With A Glee

When The Soul Stirs An Emotion

When The God Becomes Thee

When World Seems To Shrink

When My Words Bring You To The Brink

When You Stay Up And Think Of Me

.................... Remember ....................

I Stand Atop The Cliff

And Wonder If The Winds

Will Ever Bring a Fragrance

A Fragrance That Reminds Me Of Thee

For All That Is Pure

Can Not Just Be Thee

As All That is ImPure

Is Not Just Me

A Walk Back to Reality!

2008-02-07T12:33:00.001-02:00

7 Months, and thats what it took for me to recover from a setback! Well, to be Candid, not fully recovered though. Another year added to my life and I hardly noticed. The move back to India was not something to look forward to but then again, Maybe I was required. Home Sweet home lasted 3 weeks, The longest time I spent at home since 1999. And now it is back to the life in Bangalore, A City which is almost coming apart at it's seams with the influx of migrant technical labor!

Found some old old friends from School times and made some new ones. Learnt tons of new stuff about life! After all The World is not round. Been reading a Lot more and having loads of inspiring moments with my manager at work :P Read something really inspiring, which made me come Back to the world of Blogging! Thanks a Ton Miss New Jersey. :)

Well Enough Ravings and Rantings, I sign off with a Promise to return with much more, been having some fun times so it is apt that I write about them!

Cherio

Cruel

Why Am I Still Alive

2007-07-31T14:54:00.002-03:00

I knew I had died, I Wish I Had. Cannot live like this, it hurts too much. But hey, death is too choosey, just like Life. So I woke up after 3 days of being in and out of an haze and realized I still breathe, still breathe for her. I have no one to turn to ... All I am left with is my words which I do not use judiciously anymore. And the Music -- I am gonna get my music back. I wonder how many of you really love music, and I mean love like crazy, who love to sing, to compose, to play. I do. And when she said Good Bye - It felt like my music of all these years turned her back to me sayin "You do not belong to me". But I decided, to get my music back, and I found Fabienne. When I touch her, I feel love. My fingers seem to move on her in a trance as they find the right chord everytime. Fabienne promised she would help me find my love again and that she would play while I sing. Here is the first song we both learnt to play together.

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Instead of slamming down the phone girl, for the hundredth time
I got your number on my wall, but I aint gonna make that call
When divided we stand baby, united we fall
Got the time got a chance gonna make it
Got my hands on your heart gonna take it
All I know I cant fight this flame
You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Cause Im crazy bout you baby, time after time

Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
Do you have a heart of stone
Without you
Cant stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

I dont wanna fight no more, I dont know what were fighting for
When we treat each other baby, like an act of war
I could tell a million lies and it would come as no surprise
When the truth is like a stranger, hits you right between the eyes
Theres a time and a place and a reason
And I know I got a love to believe in
All I know got to win this time

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Cause Im crazy bout you baby...crazy...crazy
Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
Do you have a heart of stone
Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
If you have a heart at all
Without you
Cant stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

Love You!

The End

2007-07-24T00:26:00.002-03:00

I have always wondered how the end would be. How it would feel when you die. And now I know it. I know how it feels when you die, every second that you live - You Die. It feels like you are suffocating, the air does not wish to come to your lungs as every ounce of life is squeezed out of you. Like every part of you dies it's own death. It seems so absurd how I am ranting away over here but I had to Document my own death somewhere, hadn't I? So here I am with a final goodbye to the world as I have known till the last breath with the beautiful taste of the poisoned wine still on my lips. I wonder if I would be buried or would I be burnt to ashes, or even If would see the motherland once again! but I know that the poison of the love would still be running thru my veins when I take my last breath which approaches near. My Farewell with the last words on my lips - Love You!

This romeo is bleeding, but you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well,I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

Yeah I, will love you, baby
Always and i'll be there
Forever and a day, always

I'll be there, till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme
I know when i die you'll be on my mind
and I'll love you, always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh
Some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye

What I'd give to run my fingers thru your hair
Touch your lips, to hold you near,
When you say your prayers, try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words
You've been needing to hear, I'll wish I was him
'Cause these words are mine, to say to you
'Til the end of time

If you told me to cry for you, I could
If you told me to die for you, I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck in these loaded dice
But baby, if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams, and our old lives,
We'll find a place, where the sun still shines

Before Sunset

2007-07-08T18:27:00.003-03:00

It has been almost a month that I Wrote. A Lot has happened since then, A Life has been lived, A Life has been Lost, A Life has passed before my eyes, A feeling of dying has been learnt, A Love has been lost and A Love Found. All this Before Sunset.

I Wish I could write more, I wish I had the choice of opening up my Laptop and just sitting down with a Word Document and write my heart out, but I have learnt that I do not write, It happens, I am just a medium of expression and a trigger is needed every time something comes out and makes me feel Liberated. This time it was a simple movie, a beautiful yet sad one, something so refreshing and something so innate that I felt it was me. The simple talks, the walk, the song, the life. Something worth dying for, something worth living for.

Suddenly everything is so clear, I feel so strange that such an effect can be had with something so simple in life, that you are standing at your balcony and looking at a tropical storm and a bolt of lightning flashes before you and in that millisecond as you see the sword of fire and light strike a helpless tree, the whole world becomes clear to you. You understand things like the crystal waters of a stream born high in the mountains long before it is polluted by the existence of cities.

As the wind ruffled thru my hair and the thunder deafened the ears, I sipped on the Whiskey and looked at the lighted up night sky with flashes of lightning and a small glow of the dawn in the distance. Words of "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran keep me Sad, Keep me Happy. A Tear runs down my cheek after having cleared my vision. All I got running in my head right now are the words which have brought me back to life.... Like a phoenix rising from the Ashes.

Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue
Thought I heard you talking softly.
I turned on the lights, the tv and the radio
Still I cant escape the ghost of you
What has happened to it all?
Crazy, somed say,
Where is the life that I recognize?
Gone away...

But I wont cry for yesterday, theres an ordinary world,
Somehow I have to find.
And as I try to make my way, to the ordinary world...
I will learn to survive.

Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say
Pride will tear us both apart
Well now prides gone out the window cross the rooftops, run away,
Left me in the vacuum of my heart.
What is happening to me?
Crazy, somed say,
Where is my friend when I need you most?
Gone away...

The 13th Room...

2007-05-31T02:19:00.000-03:00

The 13th Room…

13 is an UnLucky Number – For most of you – But for Jack and Daniel, here is when they got lucky.

Jack and Daniel were supposed to leave the country for furthering their prospects in life, so their friends decided to give them a big send off! And thus arrived Johnny and Walker. Johnny was Daniel’s Brother and Walker his cousin. Walker walked in with his girl Absinthe.

They decided to meet at The 13th Room one late evening. Though the room was as big as the floor, it was jam packed with almost no available space. But everyone knew that Jack and Daniel could not be denied, so off they went and were welcomed like princes, escorted to their favorite place right next to the drunk Germans. Stars illuminated the room and sky was the roof! J & D decided to get drunk as this would be their last night out in a long long time to come. Johnny joined them while Walker politely declined the offer under the glaring eyes of Absinthe.

They had just started when Walker got a call from a friend of his who wanted to be a part of the company and 5 minutes later in walked Bloody Mary with her intoxicating companion Sherry. Jack, with his long hair, short height, cute face and mysterious eyes, gave a casual glance at Mary and their eyes met. The world seemed to stop for the two, the glass of alcohol glued to Jacks lips as his hot breath formed vapors on the surface, rings of smoke rose from the smoldering cigarette in Mary’s hand as it burnt it’s way towards not just the end but also her heart.

While Jack and Mary had their moment and Walker and Absinthe had theirs, Johnny got drunk. Daniel was mesmerized by the beauty that sat across the table. The perfect lips and that look in the eye, the shadow of the falling hair and that smile that meant more than what met the eye. Our Jack, torn between the decision of leaving the country and following his heart, got drunk and left with a promise to meet again. Daniel, already in love, went home with the rest.

While Walker and Absinthe cuddled up in a corner, Johnny and Mary passed out in the other room. Daniel, as always, could not sleep after one too many a shots and sat thinking about Sherry. And though she slept as soundly as the others, he knew that she knew that he was watching her. He sat there the whole night thinking about her. Morning came, they all left, she gave him a hug promising she would meet him again that evening. But he knew and so did she ... The Evening Never Came

He Left the country after a few days and now Jack is leaving as well. Wonder if they would get together again, at The 13th Room, and get Lucky?

P.S. This one is after a high demand from a couple of close friends. Please beer with me if none of this makes any sense at all.

2 Years!

2007-04-20T12:04:00.000-03:00

Well well... Here comes a little known Fact. A Fact that even I had forgotten about and had it not been for chance glance at my spam mails, I would have not come to know about it. And the Fact - It has been 2 years since I completed Graduation. April the 20th when I wrote my Last exam and set out to leave the world as I had known it to become a part of one as I know it now. Feels strange but hey, this is life.

Here is my List of Accomplishments and Failures, more for letting me know about them than to let you guys chuckle about it :-

The First Post refers to this very day in 2005. So this is the day Principia Obnoxiousia was born.
Lost most of my friends - so called friends, Left with a couple of gems.
Saw the world in a way I had never seen before, in a way I would never see it again.
Got a job and did pretty well with it, after messing it up initially of course.
Met some great people and some not so great, Tricked em all :)
Fell in love, Thought she was mine, Realized I belong to her.
Had some of the best moments of my life with my closest friends in Bangalore.
Got stabbed in the back by someone I trusted with my life, a friend for 2 years.
Understood the true meaning of being Lonely and Walking Alone.
I found I could count the number of people I could give my life for on my fingers. Happy about the fact that I can take a life as well for them.
Lost the one person who had guided me all my life, who made me what I am today. Been almost an year and I still think of him everyday. Guess I love him the most. He can never die, I will live for him.
Made some money, making some more.
Left India.
Finally got one of the very people who have ever known me the way I am, who can know something before I think about it, to join this Blog. Mr. Wordster - Rahul.

Some more rantings to come along this way, but feeling nice about this post. Something about my life after a very very long time.

Keep readng

Fire!

2007-04-05T02:41:00.000-03:00

Swirls of rising smoke, engulf the lonely battered soul. The wrath of the smouldering fire mixing with the one within... Consuming, like burning fuel, consumed to the edge. The nascent rage begins from within and spreads it's wings, enveloping the soul, hidden by the screen of smoke... It grows within me, with me. The feeling of loss, the feeling of gain, the feeling of emptiness being fulfilled, the feeling of .. No Feeling!

Fire! - A fascination ... An element that I believe is the beginning and the end. But all my beginnings have been quiet and calm, and so have been my ends... But I still love to think of Fire as the nascence as well as the culmination. So obsessed have I been with this word as well as with the element that I used to light up fire and sit in silence watching it consume the wood, paper, rags and anything that could burn... Like a rage consumes a mad man! like a rage that has been building inside me. And then it used to die, and smoulder away into ashes as it was not there anymore and I used to believe that the fire was dead, finished. One part of me happy about the fact that it was not there anymore and another sad for the very reason.

Years later I realised that the fire never died, It just burnt everything away and gave me light and showed me the way. The fire never dies, it's we who are unable to fuel it for long. It just moves on to be fed by someone else.

Years later I realised that the love never died, It just burnt everything away and gave me darkness and showed me the way. The Love never dies, I was just unable to fuel it for long. She just chose to move on and not belong to Me.

One part of me happy about the fact that she is not there anymore and another sad for the very reason.

SEASONAL FEVER

2007-04-03T16:44:00.000-03:00

With Introductions Over... Here is something from the Arsenal of Mr. Wordster. nJoi!

"A hostel in any engineering college. Sometime between late summer and early monsoon. The tension in the atmosphere is almost palpable. The air is saturated with humidity and anxiety. Every gust of wind is charged with rumours. It is the placement season.

The lanky boy next door with greasy hair and wearing spectacles of the size of portable television sets suddenly becomes a formidable competitor. Any lungi-clad guy with a book and a pen in his hand is no less intimidating than a gladiator carrying a shield and a sword. Preparations are done on war footing.

Interdepartmental rivalry corrupts simple minds. Everybody is intent on guarding the secret which everybody else already knows. Question papers are not allowed to leak, secret mock interviews are held and special groups of students (those who ‘know’) take up the responsibility of helping out those who ‘don’t know’.

Any person from any other department who smiles and tries to stimulate a friendly conversation is to be treated as a potential threat. He is ‘the spy’.

Conversations in vernaculars are peppered with phrases like quantitative aptitude (‘quants’), vocabulary ( ‘vocab’) and communication skills (no short form for this one). Bare bodied people waiting in a queue to take bath (which by the way is a biweekly ritual) try to converse in inglis. Snippets of this conversation filtering through to the person actually taking bath can lead to his cranial fracture caused by a fall which in turn is caused by uncontrollable laughter. It can be fatal. People occupying adjacent cubicles can be heard quizzing each other on freshly acquired vocabulary from the G.R.E. high frequency list.

The dining hall transforms into a conference hall for technical discussions. The clatter of utensils is punctuated by words such as diodes, gears, firewalls and other ingredients of intellectual chutney which kills the appetite. One has to contend with food for thought.

People who have been friends for almost three years can be seen introducing themselves to each other and discussing their hobbies (most of them very recently acquired) when they go out for a stroll or while sharing a fag.

This is a season when diseases like temporary insomnia and somnambulism become widespread. People can be seen walking in the corridors at unearthly hours practicing their ‘intro’ or mumbling answers to other expected HR questions which have been asked since Lord Ram recruited monkeys in his army.

On a cool morning, when groggy eyed people are zombie-marching to the tap with tooth brushes sticking out of their mouths like thermometers, the news arrives. After months of speculation (which began at the end of the previous year’s placement) the suspense is broken. The COMPANY is to arrive in five days time. The news spreads like a seismic wave jolting the students out of their beds and senses. People are caught in a turbulence of activities ranging from manipulating scores on their resumes to the procurement of ties to go with their formals. (However the ties go missing on the day and leads to the age old game of beg, borrow and steal.)

The preliminary tests are crucial. They aim at estimating the general awareness of the future employees of the COMPANY. To clear this all important test the candidates are required to go through every question that has been repeated with unflinching diligence for the past decade. People who have successfully feigned meticulousness and have been prudent enough not to get ‘over qualified’ are short listed for the interview.

The interview panel usually consists of two employees from the COMPANY. One of them grins incessantly. He is not retarded. It is only his way of making the candidate feel comfortable. The other member has his facial muscles contorted in a manner which beggars description. He is neither aggrieved by the loss of his cattle in the tsunami nor is he chronically constipated. He is only trying to stress the candidate out. Both put together provide a neutral environment for the interview.

Candidates wait for hours for their turn. By the time they are called in the starched shirts turn limp and damp. Faces which had been washed with soap for at least five times and plastered with Fair-n-Lovely for good measure now reflect the sorry state of a famished stomach. The candidate forces a painful smile. The interviewers are delighted.

The first question: Tell us something about yourself. This is easily answered. One and a half minutes flat. The interviewers are elated to find that the candidate is not dumb. They fire a volley of technical questions. The candidate does not know the answers to some. Some answers are on the tip of his tongue. But the tip has caged itself behind the incisors and refuses to budge. The throat turns dry. Palms perspire. A drop of sweat traces the length of his spine but he sits stiff. The first interviewer’s amiable grin now looks diabolic. Mount Rushmore fidgets with his pen. All is lost. No. Wait. Not yet.

The candidate is offered some water and a few words of encouragement. Realization dawns on his countenance. The interviewers again ask him questions to which he does not know the answers but answers confidently anyway. That is what matters. They encourage him to dole out theories which would make Sir Newton squirm in his grave. After making sure the candidate can ‘communicate what he is thinking’ he is allowed to go with the parting words,’ It was nice talking to you.’, or something on similar lines.

Then begins the agonizing wait for the results. A period where most people run the risk of chewing their nails to the very end and anxiety is not the only reason here. After what seems like forever the results are announced. Those who are placed grow an extra appendage called the cell phone for a few hours.

For those left behind swimming in uncertainty there are other leaky boats ready to take them on board."

---Wordster

The Beginning - Again !

2007-04-03T15:35:00.000-03:00

It's a strange feeling of deja-vu as I start afresh. The similarities between this one and the last one are phenomenal and yet they are so strange, both had a sense of accomplishment at the onset. While the original was the euphoria of meeting life head on! this one is a much more mature approach, the approach of mind and the soul hardened by the teachings of life, the experience of meeting people in a professional environment where you are not treated as just a person for who you are but as a commodity for what you are.

Though I would have loved to continue this one and fight the war alone, the truth remains that you cannot win a war alone, so what started as the "Life of an Engineer, 6.9 Someone!" is joined by another force, someone with such enthusiasm and charm of writing that one needs to reckon with. So friends and foes, let me introduce you to my partner in Crime, My Friend - "Mr. Wordster". So while he takes you on a ride to the Oblivion, I'll post his latest piece of work in here for you to read while he prepares himself to join the bandwagon....

And I'll keep on coming back with more stuff as to how Engineers proceed with their life from the nascence at the womb to the shrewdness of C/C++.

Read On!
Adios Amigo....

Reunion -- The Year 2025!

2007-02-14T05:00:00.000-02:00

Was just going thru some old memories and this one came along. A Friend from college had sent me this one and I believe that it deserves a place here. So here goes nothing in identifying how I might just feel in 18 years from now - My 20th College Reunion!

- -- --- Reunion! --- -- -

"Class of 2005 - Reunion", read the banner,
oh! the last 20 years has gone so sooner,
The great college days, I started remembering,
Seems like only yesterday I finished engineering.

Seeing my class mates, after 20 years,
My eyes were filled with tears,
Everyone has changed a lot,
No one escaped nature's plot.

Guys who were smart and handsome,
have become bald and buxom,
Girls who used to fill our dreams,
Almost brought out screams.

Saw the girl, whom once I thought as my life,
oops!, today she is somebody else's wife,
after years, talked to her for a little while,
learned she is happy, that made me smile.

Entered our class' Mr. Romeo,
Who has played many a cameo
We started teasing him together,
About what all he did to-get-her,

Project reviews to campus interviews,
Nicknames to last bench games,
Cultural rehearsals to love proposals,
Short term crushes to class room blushes.

Everything was fresh in our mind,
Wished life could rewind,
Laughed, played and rejoiced,
Once again we became girls and boys.

Chatting and laughing, we all were in elation,
Till the painful moment of separation,
It was time to part,
returned with a heavy heart.

Today life is full of commitments,
And too many worries,
But those cherished moments,
Will live forever in our memories..

UnBelong

2007-01-30T09:29:00.000-02:00

- -- --- UnBelong --- -- -

The harsh gale, ruffling up more than just feathers and engulfing me like icicles piercing cheese, brings me back to the world of mortals. A world which I am supposed to be a part of but then I know that “I UnBelong!”

There has been so much to my life, just like there is to every one else’s, but some where deep down I know, but I can’t explain, that some thing is just not right. It is like a small hole in the prefect Architectural Design so that the building leaks - Taj Mahal, you know there is a flaw but you don’t know what and where.

I set out 8 years ago to build a life and got much more than I bargained for. I did build it but in the process I got a taste of what life might actually be and since then I have wanted to know and this want, this desire is driving me crazy. This desire to find out everything possible about everything there is and also what’s not.

I am a part of this world by the day - Get up in the morning, go to office, work, come back – I Belong – But then comes the night and I am left alone, to wander the streets at odd hours – Trying to find out the meaning in dark corners – I UnBelong. I love walking alone with the knowledge that I am not alone, that something is there which knows everything and it brings me to the edge – to the point where another step and I would get all my answers and then it puts across a curtain of yet another question and leaving me with another night to wander.

The Ruins are amazing, it is said that someone died in here… I wander around the desolated construction site… It is here that I find peace and my mind clears – clears enough to understand what I might have missed during the day. Life is beautiful, it’s got lot to offer and more. You can run and you can hide but you can’t escape. And then a picture of something I saw flashes before my eyes – It was a bloody mess with the words “But I Loved You” Sprawled on a wall with stains of blood giving them a life of their own.

I am Bruised, I am Battered, I am Broken – But I know I will come back to Life – For I UnBelong – Even to Death.

The House Hunt... (Part II)

2006-12-07T04:59:00.000-02:00

The House Hunt ... (Part II)

Sorry people for not posting for this long (Not that many of you would have been eagerly waiting, but what the hell !.!) So not wasting any more time I shall continue with the Narration of the ordeal of the House Hunt which I had undergone.

The Saga Continues ...

I had been looking around various online forums to find a place ASAP, and after exhausting all the online channels, I went back to the traditional methods ... Bought the paper "AdMag" for 10 bucks and sat down at the dining table, leafing through the pink and white pages of the Classified. Man! this was going to be tough job. After shorlisting about 15 different Ads (Mind you, I was biased towards the happeneing areas of BLR and also gave preferance to Ads posted by the opposite sEx), my (traitor) friend and I started off the phase II of My House Hunt.

House 1. NandiDurga Road:- The house looked Ok from outside. The owner who I had spoken to earler, was a lady of around 27 but din stay in the same house. This three storyed building housed only Bachelors, one at each floor, but was currently Locked. Would come back to this one later.

House 2. JayaMahal:- The house we visited belonged to very old woman who lived with her even older Mother. I was being offered only a single room and the entrance was through a narrow passage which ran all around the house till it reached the courtyard at the Back. The rent was supposed to be around Rs. 3000/- (For a single Room MAN!). The old and the older lady seated My friend and me in the small room and thus began the interview.

She : Do you Drink?
My Friend : NO!
Me : yes.
She : Do you come home late at night? Say after 9 P.M. ?
My Friend : Sometimes.
Me : always!
She : Do you bring girls home?
My Friend : NO WAY!!!
Me : not often, I usually go to their places...
She : Actually I have no problems with all these but you see mom doesn't like all this...

Dude! this one was pathetic. I practically took off after her last statement. Next stop, Ulsoor.

House 3. Ulsoor:- This one was very promising as it had been chosen by roomate. Mr. Ashwin (The House Owner) from Ulsoor came to meet us. He sounded like a pure professional. 10 Minutes past the time we had agreed upon, he appeared, and how he appeared. It was like an elephant riding a tricycle. Motorists gave way as we followed him through a maze of in-roads and no-roads and came to stop in front of magnificient 7 story house. I was impressed but the impression did not last long as we climbed the stairs all the way to the terrace. There were 2 rooms 1 kitchen and 1 loo, each one in one corner of the terrace and could have easily been rented out as a separate room. We left, promising to return in an hour with the Advance!

House 4. Somewhere in Cox town:- The guy turned out to be a Broker, he came on a lumberetta (For thouse of you who don't know what it is, it as an antique scooter from the pre-Independence days) in a one way, and took us back the same way. Against the onslaught of the oncoming traffic, we came to an Array of houses. A room and a toilet each, they looked more like the pegion houses that you see in the old hindi movies. I was feeling hungry, we left.

House 5....
.
.
.
.
.
House 14....

Just din feel like looking anymore and to top it all, it started raining. While we chilled out at 11th Cross in Frazer Town the phone rang, owner of the First house was now available. So it was decided, the first house it was gonna be, looking around was just a formality, guess I was destined to stay there, alone. Wonder what else is in store for me?

It's been a month now... And I work more and stay at home less.
And you know why!

The House Hunt... (Part I)

2006-10-27T07:23:00.000-02:00

The House Hunt... (Part I)

I had been sharing a house with this friend of mine for the past 1 Year and 3 Months when last Saturday he woke me up at 10 in the morning:- "Get up you lazy bum" he shouted. I baulked at his intrusion, Gosh! it was a Saturday, a day to relax; He poured water over my head, water chilled to the core. I got up, frustrated and started looking for something I could hit him with.

I : "What da Fuck man? WHY?"
He : "eH! We have to look for a new house."
I : "The owner got to know about his daughter??? Shit! Man."
He : "No, he has not... Yet!"
I : "eH, The Credit Card people came calling?"
He : "No.. They do not have this Address."
I : "Your Second girl friend got to know about your first and fifth?"
He : "No, But yourz did.."
I : "Shit! No issues. But what is the problem man? No, don't tell me. You are not moving out, are you?"
He : "No. But you are."
I : "I! But Why?"

Seems like his folks were moving in and I was being thrown out. So that left me with less than a week to look for a house, A house in Bangalore for a Bachelor who wanted to stay alone and not share a room/house with anyone (ok, maybe a sweet damsel who might read this can inquire). And thus began the journey of my ordeal. The first thing I did was to go online, and check out the forum of mah company... Just incase there was some Ad out there... Here is what I came across (Un-Edited)

"This is a moderately furnished one independent room, part of a big house. Readily available. Very good accessibility and very nice location with all the amenities in the vicinity. Welcome for a calm and quite person who would not cause headache for an old couple. Ideal for a lonely bachelor. Rent can be arbitrated and settled after seeing the location. Thank you. Contact : Veerabhadrappa (you can refer my name : gireesh)"

Man, this guy knew what he was looking for. "A Lonely Bachelor" eh? And the only restriction was that he should not cause a headache... all other kinds of aches permissible, or maybe even invited... he he. And the icing on the cake... The name of the advertiser. Man it was hilarious then but maybe I should have given this one a try. But then again, I did not fit the bill. So I checked out the next one...

"It is a 1 BHK House big enough to accomodate 3 person. I am lookin for 2 people to share the flat with me. It has a large bedrrom (big enough for 5 ppl), a large hall, 1 kitchen, 1 toilet and a terrace. I am paying Rs. 6600. The advance is yet to b paid since I shifted here only for a week. This place is for immediate acomodation. It is just 5 minutes from the Indiranagar CMH road Company bus stop. Its in a very centralized location."

Now the irony here was that the House was big enough for 3 people but the Bed Room was big enough for 5. I know, I know what you must be thinking. Yes I was thinking the same. How many people was the toilet big enough for? And what about the guy, could he be trusted? Man he moved in only for a week and he was already contemplating about overstaying. The location was centralized as well. I know about central locations but centralized? Maybe he was referring to the Air Conditioning.

Anyways, guess this was not going to be of much use. So I started looking for other Avenues...

To Be continued...

My Life???

2006-10-06T06:12:00.000-02:00

I wonder why I keep on coming back to the Philosophy of Life? I was checking out some old mails and that's when I came across this particular one, which I had received some 2 years ago when I was very new to the Software Industry.... Din pay much attention to it then, but now that I read it all over again, it seems so familiar, the words, the feelings, the joy, the helplessness .... How I wish I could be a child again. Nonetheless, read on. Hope you like it.... But have a look at the pic first ....

" It was raining heavily outside. Dark clouds gathered in the sky and nature was in its ominous best. I took a break from my work and went to the pantry to grab a cup of coffee. I had a sip and went near the window to see the rain pouring down heavily outside the glass structure. I was inside our huge office building, unruffled by even the fierceness of the nature. Through the heavy transparent glass, I could see a small girl trying to hold on to her umbrella which the wind was snatching away from her. I felt sorry for the girl, and was happy that I was not in a similar pathetic situation. Yes. I take pride for the fact that I am a software engineer. I have everything which a common man would envy; money, status, respect, you name it and I have it. I always wanted to be software professional and here I am, working for one of the best firms in the world. But then, am I really happy? Now, I could see an imprint of my palm on the other glass window, through which I reminisced my past, basked in the warmth of the sun shine.
My childhood was so much fun. I vividly remember those rainy days, when I hugged my mother tightly during sleep, listening to all her stories. Now, I have a big house here, but then it is just a house, not a home. My parents are pretty far away from me now. I have a cell phone to talk to them everyday, but then I really miss those dinners which I had with my family everyday. I could easily afford to taste all the different cuisines these days, but the best of food there, lack the love and affection which is present in the food prepared by my mother.

I threw a lavish party for my colleagues for my birthday, but then they would never replace the birthdays when my friends secretly brought a cake and at the end, half of the cake would have ended up on my face. The couple of hundred bucks that u save for a long period just to give a treat to your friends in the road side chat shop can never give the pleasure even after spending a few thousand bucks these days.

The scene of me crying and refusing to have dinner on the day when I fought with my best friend came to my mind. Today, she has gone far away from me, taking away my love and with it my life, but I am sitting and coding here with a false smile on my face. Everyday I meet new people, but then I long ceased to make a new friend.

It’s true that I have a lot of things now. I have a nice bed, but no time to sleep. Lots of money, but no friends to spend it with. The latest designer clothes, but a worn out body. Quite a few to flirt, but no one to love. Awards for technical excellence, but no reward for the crave for peaceful ambience. A confident demeanor, but a reluctant and apathetic mind. Full of rain, but no sunshine even in the farthest distance.

Now, I could see the small girl on the road enjoying in the rain with her umbrella firmly in her grip. She might not have all the comforts which I have, but then she has the innocence and fun which I lost a long time back. I have decided to come out of this false fantasy, even if it is at the expense of losing the tap of the software engineer. I am going to again enjoy my life. I am going to go out in the rain and play with the small kid now. I removed my tie, and went near my computer to shut it down. Just then, I saw a new mail alert in my mail box. I slowly opened outlook and I found a message from my manager with an attachment saying that there was a critical defect in the code and I have to fix it soon. I convinced myself that I am not going to get bogged down again by these pressures and stick to my decision. I ignored the mail and went to the rest room. After a couple of minutes, the software engineer in me came out, his shirt tucked in with the perfect tie knot, sat before the computer, and started typing........
XYZ,

I am looking into the defect and will send the patch files before EOD.

Regards,
Me."

I wonder if all of us feel the same way???

The Polythene Bag Theory

2006-09-29T11:59:00.000-03:00

The Polythene Bag Theory:

Now Now! Here is a question I would have loved someone else to answer, But no! It had to be me who had to answer it right? So here it goes…..

What does a normal person do when he/she sees a polythene bag (Read: non-recyclable waste) lying on the road?

(Now while you wrack your brains trying to answer that, here is my take on it:)

1.) 80% of the people (normal) would just ignore it, maybe look the other way and just walk away…. Isn’t it just normal for polythene to be lying around on the road? (This is what happens in the Indian scenario - International Audience: eH don't be surprised.)

2.) 12% of the people (still normal) would stop and take notice, shrug their shoulders, take pity on the deteriorating condition of the Country and be considerate enough to pick it up and throw it in the first garbage can that they can find.

3.) 7% of the people (ok little abnormal) would stop and take notice, shrug their shoulders, take pity on the deteriorating condition of the Country, think about the Green House Effect, and the technical and non-technical aspects of global warming and be considerate enough to pick it up and throw it in the garbage can marked “Non – Recyclable”.

4.) 1% of the people (Fine, agreed, ABNORMAL) would look around to see if someone is watching, pick it up and dust away the dirt, smile to themselves and blow air into the bag, blow it till the seams burst and then – BANG – They burst up the Bag, with a lot of noise, and then they laugh. Amazing! Isn’t it?

The Software Industry Theory:

Now let us compare the Software Industry to the World or Maybe the Universe. The Polythene Bag to the life in Software Industry.

If we analyze, almost everyone needs and uses software these days, just like the need and use the polythene bag. But what happens when someone is given a chance to live a life in the software industry? (Read as: What does a normal person do when he/she sees a polythene bag lying on the road?)

1.) 80% of the people (normal) just ignore and walk on. It is good enough for them to use the software and then throw it away when they don’t need it anymore, just like the polythene bag.

2.) 12% of the people (still normal) stop and take notice, shrug their shoulders, take pity on the deteriorating condition of the Software Industry, and take efforts to put the polythene bag where it belongs, in the garbage can. Thus they try and avoid using a computer too often and hence try the natural stuff, the paper bags or say taking a walk in the night.

3.) 7% of the people (ok little abnormal) stop and take notice, shrug their shoulders, take pity on the deteriorating condition of the Software Industry, think about the Early Aging Effect on the software professionals (Green House Effect), and the technical and non-technical aspects of going crazy (Global Warming) and be considerate enough to pick it up and throw it in the garbage can marked “Non – Recyclable”, i.e. nothing to do with software, live on the Himalayas, eat water and drink air. Be a pure vegetarian and Blah Blah!!

4.) 1% of the people (Read as: Software Engineers, and Fine, agreed, ABNORMAL) would look around to see if someone is watching, ignore all the late night meetings and strange working hours that come with such a life, smile to themselves and blow air into the bag (i.e. try to put life into their lives), blow it till the seams burst and then – BANG – They try to burst up the Bag, to hear a lot of noise, but alas, it can just be compared with a polythene bag but it is not a polythene bag. They fail to notice THE small hole (now you don want me to describe what all the small holes would be, do you?), and there is no BANG just a FIZZ as all their efforts in blowing it up just fizz away to nothing and then they can’t even laugh. Amazing! Isn’t it?

P.S: The author of this one is not demented and nor is he frustrated with his life. Just some experience he has gained while working in the Industry for past 2 years. He he, hope you liked this one. eN-Joi.

The Citi Never WAKES

2006-09-21T09:56:00.000-03:00

I know, it's been long but then again, was very busy.... So lemme start off on a Humorous note : Similar to the one about HUTCH, here is a dig on Citibank .... eN - Joi ==>

"A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here is the exchange:"

Family Member: I am calling to tell you she died in January.
Citibank: The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.
Family Member: Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.
Citibank: Since it is two months past due, it already has been.
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?
Citibank: Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!
Family Member: Do you think God will be mad at her?
Citibank: Excuse me?
Family Member: Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?
Citibank: Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor. (Duh!)

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.
Citibank: The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply. (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: You mean you want to collect from her estate?
Citibank: (Stammer) Are you her lawyer?
Family Member: No, I'm her great nephew. (Lawyer info given)
Citibank: Could you fax us a certificate of death?
Family Member: Sure. (Fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

Citibank: Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.
Family Member: Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care.
Citibank: Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.
Family Member: Would you like her new billing address?
Citibank: That might help.
Family Member: Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.
Citibank: Sir, that's a cemetery!
Family Member: What do you do with dead people on your planet?
(Priceless!! )

Wherever You Go, The Headache Follows

2006-07-24T06:01:00.000-03:00

CC => A Hutch Customer Care Representative
Me => I

CC : Welcome to Hutch. Can I Have your phone number please?
Me : 9986187899
CC : Can I Have Your Name Please?
Me : $#@#$
CC : Thank you Mr. $#@#$ for calling, how may I help You?
ME : You people have billed my account for Rs. 1628 and have
Deducted the amount twice from my Credit Card.
CC : Before I go on, Can I Have your DOB, Billing Address, Mothers’
Maiden Name, your Phone Number and the color of the
Underwear You are wearing?
Me : Why Da F$$K do you wanna know da color of mah underwear??
CC : Security check Sir.
Me : But What If I am not wearing the same underwear today?
CC : Sir, Please be advised that You have to wear the same before
You call us.
Me : What Da F$$K.. Ok [Repeat Information]…
CC : And The Color Sir…
Me : Yellow with Red Stripes. ;-)
CC : How May I Help You?
ME : You people have billed my account for Rs. 1628 and have
Deducted the amount twice from my Credit Card.
CC : Sir, Have you faced this problem before?
Me : Excuse Me? Are you supposed to face all the problems before
You call in the first time?
CC : Sir My systems show that the same problem has not occurred
Before.
Me : I know, this is the First Time. That Is Why I am Complaining
For The First Time.
CC : Sir Please visit the Nearest Hutch Shop.
Me : I Did, they wanted to see the bill from Nokia to confirm if the
Phone was mine.
CC : Oh, Sir I suggest you get the Bill and visit the Nearest Hutch
Shop.
Me : Are you even 12th Pass? Get me your Floor Manager.
CC : Sorry Sir, She is busy.
Me : Get me any floor Manager Who is Free.
CC : Sir all of them are busy.
Me : Now will I get my money Back or do I need to file a case with
The consumer courts?
CC : Sir, Your amount would be adjusted in the Next Bill. Please
Wait for a month.
Me : But I Have a Post Paid Connection Not a Pre Paid, and
Rs. 1628 as prepaid charge is Atrocious.
CC : What is Atrocious Sir?
Me : Eh, look it up in a dictionary.
CC : A Dictionary….?
Me : Ehhh… I am going to a consumer court.
CC : Consumer???

Tears Of 84

2006-05-23T09:58:00.000-03:00

Tears Of 84

I woke up with a start, sweat covering my whole body like the black veil of a Muslim lady, hiding me from the world. My heart thudding hard against my chest, as if it didn’t want to be a part of me anymore, wanting to break free; a shiver of fear sending sparks up my spine. I wrapped the blanket closer still, hiding under the comfort that darkness provides.

It had been a tough life these past days. So many in our village had been slaughtered, no not the hens but people. First came the jihadis, and killed in the name of Allah, then came the Hindus, and killed in the name of Krishna, and now the police, still trying to figure out in whose name they killed. I was 6 before, now I am 19 (or at least I can think like a 19 year old). Just 10 days that we had been running taught me what I might have learned in the next 13 years. They taught me how to live, no, how to kill.

It was my turn to keep watch while my family slept, Dad, Brother and my darling sister. Sleep is such a powerful weapon, it makes all the difference between life and death, but I found this out after I had lost it all. I looked around, but could not see anything. Creeping up to the shed where they slept, I heard the muffled cries of my sister. So the bastards who still hadn’t found a reason for their killing spree had found us. They were 3 of them; one held my sister and the other two my brother. Dad, where was he?

Blood oozed faster than the tears that rolled down my eyes as one of them slowly slit my brothers’ throat. He just sat there, calm and peaceful. She screamed till her throat betrayed her, I cried till I could not anymore. They took her along, I went in to see my brother covered in the same red color as my dad. Consumed by rage but held by fear I sat next to them, the gravity of the situation had still not sunk in, they were dead, I would not be able to talk to them anymore, not play with my dad, nor fight with my brother. I was alone. I am alone.

And my sister, the fact that even she existed struck me like lightning. I had forgotten about her, how could I? Grabbing the knife from the sheath attached to my dads’ thigh, I ran the direction they had taken her. A mile towards the fields, I found one of them bent over her frail body. I sneaked up slowly and let the blade slide into his back. Once, twice, thrice, till his back was black with blood and my face sprayed with the same. He screamed like a wild boar, arching his back, tears streaming down his face he turned, and then fell. He died, next to her.

I never thought I could kill, but now I can, and I will again. Till I can no more. I wasn’t a born killer; neither did I choose to be one. I don’t know if I am right or wrong, but I know I was wronged. I’ll find the other two and more.

Kill me before I kill you.

The Standing Airlines...

2006-05-10T06:43:00.000-03:00

The Standing Airlines…

The Name Sounds Interesting & So Would Be The Concept…

Yesterday, while Crawling to the office, one of my friends enlightened me about the new concept that might just catch the fancy of millions around the world. It captivated me so much that I have been thinking about it all this while…

The Year 2011… Lo, Behold… The Standing Airlines…

The concept of people traveling in Airplanes just like they travel in Buses or Trains can usher a revolution in the way people think in terms of distances. And just how would they achieve this??? STANDING… Yes people standing in planes and traveling just like they do in the public transport. It Might Be a Serious Concept but All I can do is Laugh… Imagining The Kind Of Life We Might Lead If This Comes True.

Initially, the fare might be high but would come down eventually, as more and more companies launch their standing aircrafts. People would prefer traveling via this medium as the fare would be cheap and they would be able to visit home more often, Delhi to Bangalore in one hour (Currently from mah place in Bangalore to Office – 1hr 30 mins). We would be having Double Decker Aircraft to accommodate more people.

Later on, with many people opting for this kind of service, some like me would prefer a monthly “PLANE PASS”. The roads would be deserted as many would choose to travel by “The Standing Airlines”, After all, would you not prefer to travel standing in a plane than standing in a bus. Then there would be “Plane Jams” in “The SKY” and we might have to wait for a minute or so for the bigger and better “Boeing” To Pass By. The more jam packed plane might just be seen tilting to one side.

Sometimes the cause of all the congestion in the sky might be convoy of VIP Planes. With red-lights on top, 2 police planes in front and two following the VIP, Sirens Blaring and driver, eh ok ok Pilot, Shouting “Side Kodi Pa”, they would Zip pass most of us. I hope traffic lights would be immaterial but then again what about the traffic police? Using Hover-Crafts and Illegally printed Challan Slips They Might Just stop one of the overloaded planes and ask the pilot to show his flying license. A broken headlight, improper indicators and busted tail light would also attract fines. “The Flying Cops” would even ask some of the passengers to get off …

The airports then would look something like the current bus stands. Instead of the conductor, it would be a Co-Pilot, wearing a tie, chewing "Paan" and with a “Bidi” between his thumb and forefinger shouting out the available seats, (on second thoughts, available places to stand), and the fare. “Coimbatore .. Coimbatore .. Coimbatore” Irrund Seat Irruku, Noor Ruba, Noor Ruba, Nooooor Rubaaaa”.

What pains me the most is the thought as to what would happen to the Kingfisher Air-Hostesses? They would either be replaced by the cheap ones from AI and Air-India or would be used only for the international flights. One of the jokes between us friends while traveling via Deccan would come true… During the flight from Delhi to Bangalore, We encountered quite a lot of turbulence… So used to being jolted on the Indian roads that when I told mah friend “Yaar Road Badi He Kharaab Hai (Dude, The Road Is Pretty Bad)”, He agreed with me whole-heartedly before a second thought brought a faint smile to his lips and the words “Oye – Guddu”

Will update with more thoughts…

Beyond The Oblivion…

2006-04-25T03:29:00.000-03:00

Beyond The Oblivion…

It’s been 48 hours since He Left Me, and I still believe someone is playing a big joke on me. I keep on looking around my back, sometimes round the corners, Expecting Cyrus to jump out of one of these corners and shout “BAKRA”. But hold on, Take a Grip, The tickets are already booked… Even the return tickets. And I think…

What is it that lies Beyond The Oblivion, What is Left when nothing is Left. These random thoughts flood my mind as I try not to think about not thinking. Sitting in front of this bright source of light, my fingers play on the keyboard. Its music to my ears, just as it was last night when I plucked at those 6 strings that I have been plucking at for almost a year now. I almost lost the nails I had so meticulously grown to sound like a pro. My fingers hurt but this heart hurts more.

The wait is harder than the moment. I should have already been home, but here I am, performing the last rites at my office. After all, appraisal is due, I have to complete my forms, some coding is still left, but so has he. This is the second time I am writing without a clear head. I have been hurt, I have been bruised I have been broken but never at the mind. But I will continue, I have to. For this is what it is all about. Write so as to get to know yourself.

Let me get back to thinking about not thinking, let me get back to staring at the matrix of code. Let me go back to wait, wait for another 3 days before I can leave…

And He Left Me...

2006-04-24T08:23:00.000-03:00

And He Left Me...

I slept soundly and so did he… I was woken by a sharp, shrill ringing… Like needles piercing your ears… Only to be told, he would never wake up, ever again. And that shrill ring tone has been embedded in my memory like a dagger in my heart. I was numb, could not think, everything just went silent. And in that silence I could hear screams, heartrending screams but only I could hear them. They were my own. I did not even pick up the phone the next time Dad called me to ask if I was ok. Ok? If I was ok?? How could I Be??? No I was not ok. I am not ok. I cannot be.

But I could not do anything, nothing. The man who had nurtured me like his son, just like a Gardner lovingly looks after a sapling, was not there anymore, and all I could do was.. cry… I did not even have the chance to see him for the last time… It was so sudden that before I could bat an eyelid, my life as I knew it had changed, forever. I booked my tickets to fly back home as soon as I could, told my boss “I am out of office indefinitely, don ask me why for I cannot answer.” By the time I dressed to leave for home, another shrill ring of the cell shattered the wailing silence of my house. I was scared to pick it up this time. I did, it was Dad again. He told me to cancel my tickets, for even the mortal remains of the man I had loved more than me were there no more. Burnt in a wild consuming fire, all that was left was… ASH.

I still can’t come to terms with the truth of the situation, My Grand-Dad, who taught me how to live, is not alive anymore. The one who made me learn 5 of the 8 languages that I know won’t ever speak to me in any one of them. He who made me feel and not just understand poetry, won’t ever again read out a poem for me. I have lost not just a grand-father but my guide to life. I love you daddy, I love you a lot. And this small piece is a farewell to you… To let the world know, that it can never know, how much I loved you, How Much I Still Love You

Your Son…
Your Grand-Son

The Remains Of A Charred Dream

2006-04-17T06:16:00.000-03:00

The Remains Of A Charred Dream…

Bangalore… A Dream,
A Dream which made me leave home once again to foray into the unknown, to pursue the truth, to seek the reality about myself, to grow stronger, to learn, to live… But all that remains is ASH… The Truth, be it your Heart, your Dreams, your Love, your Life, or Coal… All that is left after The Fire is… ASH (Yes, you will know once you read this. I wrote this line after I read what you had sent me ;-) ). The pain of seeing your dreams burn in that raging fire is worse than the smell of burning rubber, worse than the nausea caused by the charred remains of human flesh.

Come to think of it, and that’s exactly what happened to Bangalore… Ruffians hurtling projectiles at glass buildings, without taking the pain to calculate the angle of projection so as to be able to minimize the force required for maximum Range and Height (They should have studied physics instead of taking to politics), Hooligans burning tyres and busses, forcing employees to stop work and close down the big money churning machines like IBM… ensuring a loss of more than $40 Million in one day, an amount they would never come close to making even if they lived 100 times over. And all this for what?

Wait, Wait… I have the answer, or I believe I do, “The Remains Of A Charred Dream”. Yes that’s the reason, the unfulfilled dreams of one, burning up those of another, in the hope that all would be justified. The Desire to Rule, The Desire to Own, The Desire to be Known, The Desire to be Respected, The Desire to be Feared… ok, ok, one word for it all… Politics, what else could it have been, A Burning Desire and that’s what it is. A Desire for More, A Hunger for Power; All that is left is Silence, “The Silence of the Lambs”, everything will be Forgotten, everything will be Forgiven, or so believe the believers, but it is there, it will be there, Unforgotten, Unforgiving, Brewing, A Rage gathering strength, a Rage that will cleanse all the wrongdoings, How I wish for it to come soon. For the Fire, to burn and singe the sinners, for isn’t it true… The Remains of A Charred Dream will give birth to another…

How I Wish…

Random Thoughts

2006-04-17T03:59:00.000-03:00

Sometimes I wonder… Is it all worth it? The Training Camps, The Bird Flu, The will be “Reservations” and then Maybe “Bangalore Burning” stuff… Is it even worth a mention? After all, they don’t matter do they? And then I think, What the Heck… Let it be. And so shall I continue Thus… Continue to take you all thru the marvelous ride of mesmerizing words, to weave a world where extant and extinct, veracity and allegory become one, or so I would like to believe. The words I conjure are not for you to see but for me to know that “I Can”, that “I Have Been” and “I Will Be”. It is more of a self realization of the things that have been and will be or maybe might have been had I let the normal course of things to take place and charter its route thru unknown territory, but then again, I had to intervene, with my limited knowledge, presuming I could make a difference, and difference I did make….

But wait, Hold on… Let me not indulge in these introspective thoughts. Let me show you how Bangalore Burnt and how Reservation is affecting the so called millions… and in some beautiful words “Let me get back to work. Let me Begin, and let me End… ”.

The Training Camp -- Part III

2006-03-27T08:41:00.000-03:00

This should have been put up earlier but then, maybe this is just the moment meant for this piece to be inked... Uh sorrie, typed. For the benefit of those reading this blog the first time, Check out the Entries The Training Camp -- Part I and Part II before reading this one. So moving on with the Barracks and the Commanderz In charge. Well The Discipline was taken care of by some retired Army Colonel who still couldn't come to the terms with the fact that the Army did not need him anymore. So we were all treated like "Recruits" being trained for some battle (Normandy is nothing as compared to this Training). Formal dressing for all and Ties to distinguish the Males from the Females. All kind of shoes to be worn with socks, both of the same color, nails to be cut, faces to be washed, and Red Colored Underpants for all (Ok Ok maybe I overdid on this one but you could never be sure when he would ask you to strip just to make sure if you got what it takes to be... A Recruit maybe ;-) ).

The Trainers (Yes, We can call them Trainers, and this refers to most of them but not all) were very strict about their code as well. They can be best described by the following beliefs some of them upheld:-
Thou Art Always Right.
Thou Shall Not Listen.
Thou Shall Impose Thyself.
Thou Shall try To Be And Do What You Cannot In The Outside World.
Thou Shall Abuse Thy Power
Thy Recruits Art At Thy Mercy/Merci
Thou Shall Punish Those Who:-
1.) Do Not Belong To The Trainers Group &

2.) Do Not Agree To The First Postulate

Now for the Curiosity of those who did manage to think about this aspect, I would like to present.. Tan Te Tan "Dr. Nitler" The Man Who Sold The World -- The Harvester Of Sorrow (Now don't you dare jump to conclusions, These are the songs that I like), The Man Who Ran This Training Camp. To say something about him would shame the word "Hypocrite" and not to say something other than that would make truth turn in its' grave. I guess I have said enough, or have I? ;-)

One of the most loved groups of guys was that of the canteen guys. They served you tea without milk or water, a day old bread and chapattis to make your teeth strong, fermented vegetables to save the farmers who might face crisis if someone doesn't buy them, culled birds to save losses to the striking poultry farmers of Maharashtra. So you see, these guys were loved by Dr. Nitler, The Farmers, The Poultry People, The Dentists, The Hakims (Uh there are still some of them existent in the remote location where this camp is located), Everyone, except The Recruits , for "Recruits may come and Recruits may go, But the Rest remain the same".

Now I have seen many movies, but this was the most heavily guarded Training Camp I Have ever seen. Area 51 seems to be a Playschool when compared to our Camp. Situated in a Jungle and Painted in rainbow colors, it is as inconspicuous as a Tarantula on your face. The Commandoes patrolling our campus have been specially trained in Guerilla Warfare, Infact some of them took their Military training so seriously that now they even look like guerillas. Camouflage is another quality our "Blue Cat" commandoes are apt at. You will never get to know if they are around but they are always there, ready to pounce on you the moment you try to enter the campus Without Authorization (Read as without a Tie, or a piece of string attached to a paper with someones' photo and some printed letters to serve as identification, or maybe the Red Underwear ;-) )

Now that you know almost everything that there is to know about the Camp, including the fact that our commandoes run faster than a "Pregnant Buffalo", I will come back with some interesting happenings at the Camp. Till then, Ciao.

I Am NOT Infected

2006-03-03T10:00:00.000-02:00

I AM NOT INFECTED
Please Buy Me

Imagine this…

You are cruising along the Bombay – Pune Highway, and you see this placard around the neck of a cock, ok ok, around the neck of a chicken. Infact not just one, but hundreds of em, loaded in cages and supporting such placards.

In this crazed world of Media hypes, rumor has it that this bird flew was actually a dirty trick of George Bush to make India sign the N-Pact. The RAW has concrete evidence that the so called migratory birds are infact ISI Agents and were intensively trained in China. They were given the exact locations where to drop the infected bombs (Droppings) and some of them were also trained in the elements of charming the females (Of the bird species of course) so as to pass on this deadly virus. The Mumbai police even claims to have caught 3 CIA Agents and 1 ISI agent with 400 kgs of droppings having high concentrations of the virus.

The virus is rumored to have been perfected in Texas, and the DNA testing is underway to see if Mr. Clinton was involved in some way. Some intelligence agencies attribute the spreading of the bird flu to Al Qaida. They believe that Osama is trying to boost the Consumption of beef by spreading the flu. Sucide Bombers would now look something like the one shown ABOVE. BJP Spokesmen were bold enough to go to the extent of saying that, "As the fodder is not available in abundance, Thanks to Mr. Lalu, The Congress is now eyeing the Bird Feed but needs to decrease the number of birds so it has enough 'LEFT' for itself."

Durex has come up with a new technology that allows the birds to make out without the fear of passing on the virus thru body fluids. Insiders in SEBI on condition on anonymity have confirmed the fact that the culling of birds is infact related to some individuals manipulating the Commodities Market and the Sensex. RBI has ordered a probe into the same. A Lobby of nuclear scientists is mum on the question whether the extracts from the bird would be used in biological warfare.

Meanwhile the SPCA led by Maneka Gandhi is protesting against the brutal manner in which the birds are being killed. They are now asking for the last rites to be performed according to the religion of the owner. The only ones having a field day, or we can say a field month are the stray dogs. Oblivious to the hue and cry created by the virus they are enjoying 5 meals a day and some are even storing for the winter. The only hurdle which remains for the storage is that it takes a long time for the tenders to be approved.

The Training Camp -- Part II

2006-03-01T06:59:00.000-02:00

The Training Camp -- Part II

I Left for Trivandrum on the 15th of August 2005 from Coimbatore and was there by 3 in the Afternoon. It took a lot of persuasion and a 100 rupee note for the auto driver to drop me to “Kenton Leisure” the 4 Star hotel which was going to be my home for the month or so. I was there, to be trained, to be told on how to handle the corporate life.

A big round wooden key chain with the number ‘318’ inscribed on it, and a small key, well this combination would open the doors of the corporate world to me, and up I went in the lift, with heavy bags. Finally settled by evening, I found home like environment, for people were everywhere, mixing, laughing and just having fun. And among these teeming hundreds I found him ( and a few others ), ‘Rhaxy’. There is already a full entry dedicated to him but he just keeps on coming back. ;-)

Many guys and an equal number of girls were excited about the fact that both guys and girls would be staying in adjoining rooms and you could roam freely during any hours, anywhere, but some like me were more interested in getting to know how to evade the rules and having MAX Fun. I’ll name a few people who I would always remember from the training days. Ravi S Singh – My roomie and an amazing guy with a very hot head. Ankur Agarwal - A barrel of Alcohol, mixture of Rum, Whiskey, Beer and what not. Gaurav Bahal – A Red colored LPG cylinder, ready to burst at any time, and the guinea pig for all our experiments. Joe Z – Way beyond his years and way beyond ourz too. Sureyanshu and Anuj – Brats from IIIT Allahabad who knew how to live life to the max, and Now comes my very own gang – Rhaxy – You all know by now, Bond – He looks like one and more dangerous than the original. JK – My project mate and an Arsehole. Pal, Tiwari and Anupam – Tough to say anything about em separately for all were the best I ever met.

There were a few chicks too, well if they read this... What the hell. Pooja N – A beautiful babe with an even more beautiful heart. Nita – Genuine to the core and nice to be with. Himani – Don know much about her. Meera & Sakshi – Wonder where they are, and never the lest – Miss Tanvi Sethi – Man she is a babe, still sticks around with me, and don get her wrong if you see her the first time, she is dangerous. She has the brains of …maybe 2 newtons.. , pretty, but most importantly, Amazing person to be with and well nothing more to say (Loss of words may be assumed to be the reason)

Well now that you all are familiar with the people in this Training Camp Barracks, I’ll write about the Trainers and mah life there. More coming up in the next Edition of the Training Camp with a Special piece on someone who I can never ever forget in mah life. She was, sorry, she is just amazing…. The Master Of The Puppets, A Dreamer By Nature and an Achiever by Actions – Miss Jayanthi… one of Mah Best Friends

The Training Camp -- Part I

2006-02-17T06:44:00.000-02:00

Life is a bitch – Or so I used to believe. But it is beautiful, just depends on how you let it treat you and how you look at it. At this juncture in my life, when I sit in a spacious office but a small cubicle, trying hard to find real friends, and not just work buddies, I am reminded of some of the best phases of my life. I would like to write about them her so that even 30 to 40 years down my existence, I can still be reminded of them.

The Training Camp -- Part I

This is the first in the series of 3 or 4 pieces that I wish to write about the kind of life I had when I was undergoing professional training for my company. I will write about the training and its merits and demerits later on, but this one is dedicated to one of the most genuine and real human beings I ever met. We will call him Rhaxy, for that is what all his friends called him. Pure at heart but with a crooked mind, he knew how to make almost anything work, well almost. He became my inseparable companion at that training camp. Like two comrades working towards the same goal, we used to help each other in anything and everything. A million dollar smile and a “Never Say Die” attitude won him friends all over. But his ever expressive eyes were not able to hide anything from me, and I saw right thru them and him. The beauty of life is that it gives “To Each – His Own”, and I too was no longer privy to my innermost thoughts. Even he could see right thru me, just as I could.

And in that deep lost world I saw a child, a small child left alone to fend for himself. What amazes me is the fact that such a shrewd brain and a computer programmer of such high caliber could be so insecure from within. We enjoyed loads of weekends together and many more friends joined us, but the shadows of his past would always creep up to him, and usually we ended up drinking and listening to Floyd.

Every story has a heroine, and so does this one. Himani Gupta – An average girl, with an average smile, average everything, but that’s who my friend fell for, so could she actually be that average? It was a very strange way in which he liked her. I suppose that even till date she does not know that the guy, who every other girl wanted to talk to, was infact crazy about her. We guys could make fun of any other girl, pass lewd comments and just about anything, but when it came to our heroine, all he said was “Please not her, not in front of me”. I have seen crushes, Yes crush – because it was too short a time span for this guy to actually call it love, but this one is rated among the most pious and true crushes, where all one expects is a chance to talk to the girl, a glance stolen when she is talking to her friends, an eye contact just a second more than usual and that’s all it took to get his heart beat racing.

He knew she had a boy friend, and was pretty serious about him, but still…. I still remember his words… “You need some kind of distraction to keep you from thinking about the things that hurt the most”, and I knew that they did hurt for lost somewhere in the plethora of feelings and the teeming millions, here was this one man, yes a man, who was stronger than the ones I had met and believed in his beliefs, one who could not be swayed from the path he had chosen and one who stood by me in all the actions – Right or Wrong, just because he believed in me. Miss Ya Mate

As The Days Pass Me By

2006-02-14T12:18:00.000-02:00

Hi,

Long Time Since I Posted, but was quite busy. From now onwards will try to post regularly. Recently I came across a few things which sent my mind racing. The mixed thoughts can be best summed up as 'Life From A Spectators' View'. Here it goes ....

Gone are the days....

When The school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and benches.

When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books and notes.

When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays,
yet managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.

When we learnt writing with slates and pencils,
And progressed from fountain pens to ball pens and now E-Pens.

When we began drawing with crayons,
And evolved to Colour pencils and finally sketch pens.

When we started calculating first with tables,
And then with Clarke's tables,
And advanced to calculators and computers.

When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals,
And returned to the classrooms Drenched in sweat.

When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds.

When all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays.

When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons.

When cricket was played with writing pads as bats,
And Neckties and socks rolled into balls.

When few played "kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,
While others simply played "book cricket" in the Confines of classroom.

Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy.

When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks.

When few rushed at 3:45 to "Conquer" window seats in our School bus.
While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint", " kulfi", " milk ice !" and "sharbat !" at 4o Clock.

Gone are the days ...

Of Sports Day, and the annual School Day,
And the one-month long preparations for them.

Gone are the days ...
Of the stressful Quarterly, Half Yearly and Annual Exams,
And the most enjoyed holidays after them.

Of tenth and twelfth standards,
When we Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests.

We learnt, we enjoyed, we played, we won, we lost,
We laughed, we cried, we fought, we thought.

With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience , all this and more.

Gone are the days ...

When we used to talk for hours with our friends.
Now we don't have time to say a " HI".

Gone are the days ...

When we played games on the road.
Now we code on the road with laptop.

Gone are the days ...

When we saw stars shining at night.
Now we see stars when our code doesn't work.

Gone are the days ...

When we ! sat to chat with friends on grounds.
Now we chat in chat rooms.....

Gone are the days ...

When we studied just to pass,
Now we study to stay in the competition.

Gone are the days ...

When we had no money in our pockets and fun filled our hearts,
Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart.

Gone are the days ...

When we shouted on the road,
Now we dont shout even at home.

Gone are the days ...

When we got lectures from all.
Now we give lectures to all...

Gone are the days ...

But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and

Ever and ever and

Ever .....

NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE ,

DONT FORGET TO LIVE

THE LIFE THAT STILL

EXISTS.

Immortal

2006-01-05T07:49:00.000-02:00

Hey,

This one is totally for mah Indian Friends. The ones who have not grown up here would find it a little difficult to relate to. Just read thru the following lines, sit back and try to imagine these times (If you ever experienced them). For me, they are Priceless. Hope atleast one of you likes them. So Long ....

A winter evening.
Four friends.
One barsaat.
Four glasses of chai.

Hundred bucks of gas.
A rusty old bike.
And an open road.

Maggi noodles.
A hostel room.
4.25 A.M.

3 old friends. --
3 separate cities. _ I Love This One The Most
3 coffee mugs.
1 internet messenger. --

Rain on a hot tin roof.
Pakoras deep-frying.
Neighbours dropping in.
A party.

You and mom.
A summer night.
A bottle of coconut oil.
A head massage.
Gossiping about absent family members.

You can spend
Hundreds on birthdays,
Thousands on festivals,
Lakhs on weddings,
But to celebrate
All you have to spend is your Time.

The Time Warp

2005-12-30T01:34:00.000-02:00

Hey All,

Here is a small lil poem just to highlight the fact how one feels when everything you do is useless, and all you can do is ... NOTHING

There Comes a Time

There comes a time when there is no time,
Who tries to understand how you feel,
When there is nothing good for since ages,
You have been having miseries as your meal.

There comes a time when there is nothing,
You can say you attain,
For all the years you have been on earth,
You have been getting nothing but only pain,

There comes a time when you aspire,
To be recognized in the world,
But people complain you have no trait,
To bring into reality such a word.

There comes a time when you want,
To give vent to all your dreams,
But suddenly you realize nobody has time to listen,
No matter how loud you try to scream.

There comes a time when you dream,
Of flying very high,
But then you feel if you fall,
The only option is to die.

There Comes A Time When There Is No One

The Wonder Years

2005-12-28T04:23:00.000-02:00

Since the very inception of this blog is to emulate and describe the life of an engineer, I would like to describe the life in an engineering college, So here goes nothing .....

The 4-year holiday called "engineering"
21 things common to all engg college's :

1) The lecturers ( Some colleges do have lecturers ) don't teach. The students
don't study. The only guy who benefits is the one who owns the 'Dhaba' next to
the college.

2) Rules are made to be broken.

3) Promises are made to be broken.

4) Deadlines are made to be extended ... ALWAYS! After All They are only DEAD -
Lines.

5) The geek's are the most pampered lot during the internal exams.

6) The lab assistants are the most respected people ( i.e. During the lab exams ).

7) The watchmen are the people most bribed.

8) The HOD is the person most respected ( Heights of sycophancy here ).

9) The Principal ( Can be read as Principles also ;-) ) is the person most abused
and insulted ( i.e. At his back ).

10) Dropping subjects is 'KEWL' ( Arre yaar .. Drop the idea of dropping subjects
plzz ).

11) There is always a lecturer ( Re - Read Point 1 For Clarification regarding the
use of this word ) in the college who can't speak proper ' Inglish '.

12) Night-out is the second most important tool to ace the exams.

13) The most important tool .. The Bhramastra .. is the 'Chit' in which the words
can be understood only by the person who wrote them.

14) The Freshers are the most sought after .. be it in the canteen, the 'Free'
periods or for completing the records , assignments.

15) The Second - Years are the ones with the 'I Am The Don-Of-The-College'
feeling.

16) The Third - Years are the ones with the 'So-Many-Backlogs' feeling and the
poor souls get down to studying after bossing around in the college for so long.
But the fun still continues.

17) The Fourth - Years have no connection with the college whatsoever ... with no
interest in ragging, pulling each other's legs, the b'day parties, the b'day
bumps et al which they enjoyed so much till now. All they want is a good
placement and a '1st-class' tag attached to their memo.

19) The first three years are spent in cursing the college, the people there, the
system et al.

20) But towards the end of the fourth year, people tend to feel nostalgic about the
pure un-adulterated fun they have had for 4 years. Now the very system they
disliked, the very canteen they cursed, the time that they spent there, the
b'day bumps they suffered. All these seem like heaven to them.

21) Lastly the realationship that starts as "Ah She Is Just Another Girl" in First
Year, moves on to "She Is Like My Sister Yaar" in the Second Year to "We are
just friends Man" in Third Year ... "I am not Serious About Her" in Final Year
and Finally ends in a Marriage in about 5 years time ( i.e. If not interrupted by
another sigh of "She Was my sister TOO Last Year" by a close friend, say
your room mate)

The Great Indian 'RIDE'

2005-12-22T02:03:00.000-02:00

Driving in Bangalore / India

I Have Been in this 'City Of Gardens' for the past 3 months, and it sure has helped me a lot, especially in the matter of physical fitness, I have lost about 15 kgs of weight without moving a muscle, and I truly believe that if I go on to patent this technology, it sure would make me a millionaire for there are teeming billions out there who wanna loose that extra flab without going that extra mile. Now comes the best part ... The Secret of my health ... Tan ta tan ... 'Bangalore Roads' and the love and care Mr. Dharam Singh (Karnatakas' Chief Minister) has shown. You take a one hour ride in any of the local buses and I can guarantee that you would be less atleast 750 grams if not more. Don't believe me??? Well try it for yourself and while you do, there would be some of you who would not be ready to go catch that 'Healthy Bus' so you guys read on .... it is hilarious..

'For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daringto drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer. Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows:

Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess, basically trying to ride on what is 'left' of the road. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction.

Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.

Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts), or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief ministers' motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; They would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jestin their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical; I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speedbreaker"; Two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left un-tarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.

Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike,but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously.'

A Night on The Roof Top

2005-12-01T01:58:00.000-02:00

5 years ago, I met my best friend (I did not know then that he would be the one I would call my closest friend), Aman. One night we were sitting on the roof of his aprtment, 5 floors above ground level. The night was cold and clear (Means no pollution). Bright stars were peeking at us from the dark canopy of clouds. A chilly november breeze was slashing at my face and I loved the sensation of that cold which I could feel, deep till my bones. I loved that moment and I wish I could go back to it right now. As we sat there sipping on our "screw drivers", we discussed life,

Life, interesting word. Wonder why I keep on coming back to it, can't seem get it out of my mind, but then again, it's everything, isn't it? Ever wonder why we are born? What is it that we are supposed to do? And what is it that drives us to live the life that we have been so generously granted by the Almighty (or so believe the believers). You are born, you live, you die, the circle continues, one goes, 2 more come, and the population keeps on increasing, but who cares? We are all, in the words of Floyd, "just another brick in the wall". The point I am trying to raise here is not that I am some big philosopher or something like that, it is that what should be the ultimate aim of a person in life? Should it be to make it big in life (then what about those who succeed in becoming nothing at all), or should it be to just live it as it comes at the whims of those who do make it big.

And this was the essence of our conversation. Now, 5 years later, we both will once again have the chance to dwell upon our lives and try to understand where we went wrong? (Or did we?)

The Meaning Of Life

2005-11-30T04:26:00.000-02:00

Deep in our soul a quiet amber,
Knows its you against you,
It’s the paradox that drives us on.........

As I read these lines off the screen, I could hear them being shouted out aloud at me by my own self. The message was clear and yet blurred. I wanted to deny the very truth that deep down inside me, my soul knew. I looked around me and numerous thoughts besieged me. The people working around me were some of the very best in their fields, paid enormous amounts to make the life of millions easy. . . and I was, I am, one of them. But I know, it is not against them that I compete, it’s my own self that I need to out perform.

Long back I had come to realize that in this world, everyone is for him/her self, and people would do anything to get the better of you, to take the opportunities which should have been rightfully yours, to reap the benefits of the work you had put in, and at that point I chose to become the same. But there comes a time when there is no one left to compete with, to take advantage of, just for the simple reason that maybe you are not good enough to compete with anyone or for the fact that you have gone way too far and are standing at the summit of the highest peak in the world. Now what?

So now you search within your own self and find something that you know you can better and that is, I believe, the way to move on and succeed in life.

Hellz Angels

2005-11-29T11:22:00.000-02:00

It's been 22 long years and a little more than, that I have had the oportunity to see this beautiful world.
I am told that there are good humans and there are bad humans.
There is God with his angels and stuff and last but not the least, there is Lucifer (I hope I am right in referring to him as "The Devil").
But the Atrocity of life is that angels are considered to be from heaven (that is if such a thing exists), but what about us poor beings from the other world? Surely we too have some place and the right to call our selves angels. Well let it not be the heavens', but we can be HELLZ ANGELS.
I often wonder why people post there feelings on a blog, and bare themselves for the whole world to read. And with these thoughts I too started to write em. Didn't Kick of as I had planned way back in April 2004 but then here I am , at it again. To once again begin the quest for understanding the world and making a name for myself, a name which might not mean much to others but which does satisfy an ego.
More on this one later on.
See Ya

My Love or My LIFE ? ? ?

2005-11-29T10:21:00.000-02:00

Well,

I am back again, to fill up more space, or so might some of you believe.
Let me take you back in time some months ago when I was at home and looking for some fun.
I am a very head strong and stable person, steady as a mountain, or so I believed. But this one day, I just fell, fell for this lovely female. I wonder how it could be, for I have never been interested in something like a relationship bofore. 22 years and it is now that I falter. Still cannot believe if this is a dream or a reality. But it happened and I have only the following few words to describe what happened.

She came into my life,
Like a forceful wind.
She touched my heart,
From deep within.
She cleansed my mind,
And purified my soul.
She helped me find,
What was wrong in my life.
She became my Angel,
The love of my life.

Wish she would understand the real me some day, not that she does not but then again there are loads of things that very few do comprehend.

Anyways, gotta head back to .Net 2005 and attend a few calls, only 2 more months to go and the project deadline approaching.

Adios Amigo

The Power Of Silence

2005-11-25T07:34:00.000-02:00

Hey people,

It's been a long time since I added anything substantial to this blog, but better late than never. It's been 5 lonely months that I have been working for this company. Been transferred all over India, from Delhi to Chennai, Coimbatore to Trivandrum and now finally, in Bangalore. Life has been good, but the nostalgia of being away from home once again, and this time for an indefinite period of time, is once again setting in; I would try to go think back in time and relate my experiences to you all (means who so ever finds it worthy enough to read this one) but first I would like to put down a few moments that have left me spechless, at loss of words and they fit so perfectly into my life that I am surprised, and though some of you might have read them before, just go thru them and try to relate .....

... The moment when I left home for the first time,
And I look back at my parents; worried that their son is leaving them,
Yet happy that their child took his first step towards independence.
But this time, they were scared, for they knew that I have become too
Independent, and that I just might not come back again ......

... The moment when the girl I Love ...
Hugged me as if she was clinging on to her life! I didn't say a thing..
I just held her close to me .. and time seemed to stop ...
And I was ...... Speechless ...

... The moment when I parted with my old friends ... Once again ...
And the train had just started ... and I was standing on the door of the wagon ...
Thinking ... with my heart beating fast ... Would I ever see them again ...
And how long it would be if I do ...
For it had happened before, and it was happening again ...
The world as I knew it was changing and I could only change with it ... In Silence ...

... The moment when I lie down on my bed; Alone, Angry, Helpless, Sad ...
Yet Happy at the fact that I have this moment to myself;
And think about the past, Think about the time that was ...
What could have been and what is, Think about my parents ...
And think about the very few but fast friends I have,
Think about the girl who loves me more than I ever can,
And Think about the life that I am now living
And then Think about the life I want to live ...
I feel bloated out, I feel as I am so insignificant as compared to the bigger and
Better things in life .... And I don't want it to be like this .....
And the only friend I have in this moment is,
SILENCE ....
A SILENCE that shouts out aloud at me,
Just like these bold letters shout out from the page,
And I am left once again ...
SPEECHLESS .......

The Life Ahead

2005-05-07T16:22:00.002-03:00

Morning……. finally it was the morning that I had awaited so eagerly for the past 4 years of my life. I was home and had been woken up by the ruckus caused by the maid. It was still early, in fact very very early (Well compared to the standards of the hostels of an engineering college where you go to sleep at 6 in the morning, waking up at 7 is really early). I spent the first 3 to 4 days getting used to the change of being home once again. Timely meals and 3 of them in a day were definitely spoiling me and it was showing as a bulge above my trousers.

Finally on the 28th of April 2005 my dad and I had a little chat, mano-e-mano (Hope I am correct on this one). He got a little schmaltzy and told me about the responsibilities that I had to shoulder and how I had to go about in life. Now comes the most interesting part, he disclosed to me the finances of the family and told me to take over the reigns of the family. I believe I am pretty young for all this but then again, who am I to argue? I still cannot believe I could have been or better phrased my dad could have been so filthy rich. Though I am not much interested in finances (at-least at this point in time), all this did make me think twice about life and am I thankful of being born where I am.

But this is all that is owned by The Family, and I want to make it on my own! Here starts my Destiny ....

The Homecoming

2005-05-06T06:19:00.001-03:00

Wounded I Stand, In The Battle Field Of The Dead;
By Destiny To The Victory Was I Led.
Friend And Foe fought Till Last Breath;
As One They Lie In Their Death.
On My Heart Of Stone Is Etched Her Name Forever;
I Move On Again For Never Can It Be Over.
The Dawn Of The Day Gives Me Another Chance;
To Get Ready And Perfect My Last Stance;
For Alone I Will Be Forever;
Till I Find Her Never Can It Be Over.

My thoughts about leaving college and moving on again in life can be best explained by the lines above which I wrote while I was waiting patiently for the train to reach its destination. The destination – Delhi; The capital of the country and a city where many a dreams have come true. But it was just an intermediate stop, for my destination was still about 250 Kms away. It took me 5 hours to reach the city I knew as home, the city where I spent 18 years of my life – The City Beautiful, as the world knows it. Though a major part of the 5 hours of journey was devoted to the memory of my 4 years at the university, but I was still looking forward to seeing my mom after almost 2 years.

Finally I reached home, and wow, it was definitely a homecoming worth having and cherishing. I still don’t know whether it was the fact that their son had come back home after being away so long, or the fact that I was now an engineer (Though the result was still awaited ;-)) that led to such a lavish party being organized. But I sure was happy about the fact that I had a standing of my own in the society (Strange, I never gave it a thought in college).

The booze beckoned me and my dad found me right where he expected – at the bar with my favorite, Vodka with lime cordial, pepper and salt, on the rocks. While he was proud of me and was explaining how I could progress in life, I was planning how I could progress in the night.

How I wish that I could have climbed into my bed and had a peaceful night’s sleep than being thrown into the whirlwind of meeting old friends and sharing stories. But that’s what happens when you get high on vodka, salt, pepper and an awesome group of childhood friends!

The Beginning

2005-05-04T15:45:00.001-03:00

Heaven Doesn’t Want Me;
Hellz Afraid I’ll Take Over,
For I Was Born With Death Hovering Upon My Birth;
And My Cradle In The Grave.

With such thoughts as my guiding light, I managed to complete an engineering degree in computers from a very reputed University in India (Supposedly at No. 9 at the time of this writing). Words evade me when I try to describe the eagerness with which I awaited the day when my exams would end. It came, slowly, almost as if it did not wish to come, as if the whole universe wanted that I should keep on writing exam after exam - Indefinitely. Then suddenly it was April the 20th 2005. The last semester had ended. The final nail in the coffin had been hammered in. I was free, free to enjoy my release from the No. 9 prison in India where the inmates are punished for being the top most in terms of academic intelligence.

I left for home, a home which I hadn’t been a part of for the past 4 years. A home where I had spent 18 years of my life before my parents realized “Hey this one is much more intelligent than we thought him to be”. As my train zipped past cities spread over the 2700 Km that I had to travel to reach the place I knew as home, my mind was cluttered with emotions ranging from nostalgia to relief. With my hormones (I believe its testosterone, forgive me if I am wrong for I studied engineering and not medical) arousing me more often, for I was traveling with two very pretty ladies who were my classmates and one of them happened to be my Ex-Girlfriend, I still had enough time to think about my past and try to plan out my future. But for now, I decided that it was to be 3 months of pure fun where I would indulge myself and spoil myself silly.

But alas it was not to be so. I often wonder where my misguided dreams would lead me to. Will I ever achieve what I want to in life? Though I have been lucky enough till now to get more than I ever dreamed of, but will I ever get what I want?? Well enough of philosophy for now, It’s time to say hi to my bed which I haven’t slept in for years.